HER RAYS!

Is it my fault? 

I wanted the Rays to find a way to get Aybar’s bat in the line-up, and Pat the Bat got a kink in the neck.
I wanted Price to be brought up, and Kazmir got hurt.
I wanted Percy gone, and now he is.
I wanted Zobrist to get more playing time, and Aki got the Tom Brady treatment.
I’ve always wanted to see Brignac in action, and now Barty is gone.  Barty.  Excuse me while I wipe the tears off my face.

Yes I’m aware that the world doesn’t revolve around me, but just in case here are some other things I want.

The Rays starting pitching to find their groove.  Price is so good that when Kazmir comes back all fixed the Rays will have a tough decision between Niemann and Sonny for the 5th spot.
Navi becomes a doubles machine again.
Brignac fills in so nicely that when Barty returns and keeps putting up insane numbers, Reid slides over and becomes the starting second baseman.
Longo goes on a tear again.
Pat comes back with a hot bat.
CC keeps stealing bags and scoring runs.
BJ gets it going on offense.  Making the Rays 1 thru 4 pretty unstoppable.
Zobrist and Gross keep the magic alive, sending Kapler packing.
The bullpen isn’t orthodox, but they hold and save games.

Wow that would be like winning the lottery.  Kind of like last year.  C’mon Rays!

Oh and I also want them to get the hell out of Cleveland, where they are obviously cursed.

Jason Bartlett hit another home run in the third tonight so I thought he should be honored with a poem.

Barty, Barty he’s our man
If he can’t do it, nobody can

He’ll lay down a bunt or hit a sac fly
and he hardly ever lets a grounder go by

He can steal a base or two or three
last year he even got us a taco for free

but this year he’s bigger and stronger
and that means he can hit the ball longer

yep he’s got more dingers than Big Papi
and yet he never plays lazy or sloppy

He’s a baseball player thru and thru
and major bonus, he’s super cute too

When it comes down to it, Bartys only got one glitch
As far as I know, he doesn’t know how to pitch
the end

After the ninth inning I was also inspired to write one for Percival

Mercy Percy, were you ever in one of your funks
Seriously dude, way to blow chunks!
the end

 
(photo ESPN.com)

and the winning is way more fun than the losing.

Someone needs to put it into writing.

The Tampa Bay Rays acknowledge that Benny Boo Boo Zobrist is the team’s official good luck charm.  With his new reddish beard, he even resembles an overgrown leprechaun.  He has a way of righting the ship.  Therefore as long as he doesn’t start sucking real bad he must remain with the team at all costs.  Management will review his good luck charm status on a regular basis.  Getting picked off of first is generally frowned upon, however due to the nature of the grand slam we will let him off with a warning this time.

Troy Percival and Dan Wheeler will be required to sit next to Ben in the dugout, listening to his wife’s music on their ipods, until they are needed in the bullpen.  The Gabe’s will be required to come up with a plethora of minor ailments so that Zobrist gets more starts.

Let’s ride this wave for all it’s worth.

Go Rays!!

Think Dice-K got tired of seeing Longo today?  Or did Garza’s face give Pedroia even more hell?  Either way that was a sweet win today.  Sweet I say!

The Rays won their first series, against the Red Sox, at Fenway, and I saw the game!  Ironically the game started with a Knology commercial that spewed about us all being connected.  To which I replied “not anymore, Brighthouse is coming tomorrow.”  Evidently in this area to get all the Rays games it’s either Brighthouse or a dish.

Did I mention that the Rays won two in Boston? 

Garza was fantabulous.  I wish I could enter the drawing to take him to school.  I was so glad to see him shut down the little guy with the neck beard, since he’s been on my nerves what with the getting a hit every time he’s up to bat.  I especially loved the time Garza just made him look silly.  Josh Beckett would have had his arrogant smirk if he would have struck someone out in that fashion.  I think Garza needs to work on something like that.  I wonder if he can raise one eyebrow, because that would rock.

Shirley you didn’t call him Joyce.  I think it is simply a case of love at first sight.  Pretty good play in center and a homerun.  I dig that about you Matt.

Oh and have I declared my love for Evan Longoria lately?  Not to mention the cherry on top of the day Shawn Riggans.  Yeah I know, I love almost everyone on the team.  Almost.

I missed the Zobrist debacle, so we won’t go there.  However Percival makes me blue.  No seriously I stop breathing when he’s in.  I guess I should give him credit.  He got the save.  Good thing.  Don’t want him getting on Garza’s bad side.

WooHoo Rays.  Hope tomorrow really is a good Friday!

(photo ESPN.com)

The Rays are rad!

Did you see that game?  I fell asleep.  No shit.  I did watch it when I woke up though, and of course I felt like I totally missed out on bonding with Rays fans worldwide.  Like how I assume there are Rays fans everywhere?

Anyway I’m so stoked that the little engine that could keeps on going.  They think they can, they think they can.

Troy Percival might need more than just positive thinking to get back on track though.  Wow.  There were so many times I thought the Rays had lost that game last night.

It started with the Dan Wheeler deja vu experiment.  Let’s walk Youlikis again, and pitch to Jason Bay.  Glad Wheeler rewrote the ending.

Finally Pena, the hunk of burnin love, hit a three run homer.  So awesomely rad. 

Not so fast though.  Percy comes in and immediately loads the bases.  Thank heavens Maddon is losing his patience with him and sat him down.  I’m all for Percy trying to be awesome, but if you’re hurt you’re going to do nothing but hurt the team.  Time to admit that until you’re healthy someone else is better suited for the job.

Hammel, the unlikeliest of heroes, comes in and saves the day.  Now I feel really bad about not wanting to let him on the bus the other day!

Rays won, in Boston.  How sweet is that?  A big ole free donut sweet, I say.  Go Rays!! 

Runs, Runs, Rays get Runs!

Of the baseball variety, not the type that would require Imodium AD.

People the Rays won last night at Fenway!  Rejoice.  They actually scored some runs, battled and looked like the Rays we’ve grown to love this season.

Kazmir was shaky at first but pitched a great game.  A lot of fly balls though?  I only noticed because the camera work made every fly ball look like a homerun.  I did a lot of this “Aaayyy Oh whew.”

Everything was looking good, but there was always some angst just below the surface because a one run lead in Boston is not comfortable.  Especially when Wheeler walked Youkilis.  My spidey sense picked up some danger signs.  Then Jason Bay who should have been a Ray hit one out.  I’m pretty sure I called him a boob.  Not that he really is one, he actually seems like a darn nice guy.

Great now the tables were turned, but the Rays had to face Papelbon and his uncomfortable cup.  Have no fear though, Dan is here.  Barely.  Dan you had me at hello.  Straight from Durham he steps in and hits a monster game tying home run.  Then he couldn’t wipe the smile of his face.  That was so cute.  I’m adding him to the love list.

Also newly added to the love list is Perez.  He hit a double off the monster, and I swear he’s so fast, he was at second as the ball bounced off the wall.  He’s snazzy and I dig that.

Don’t forget Navi who has been hitting even when everyone else has been taking a nap.  Way to go whiskers.

Okay so then Troy Percival enters the game.  I actually said out loud “I have no confidence in you.  You better prove me wrong.”  Did it look like Maddon was chewing him a little before Big Papi batted?  Give him credit though, he got the job done.  It couldn’t have been easy for him, especially with the tying run on third.

So awesome.  I’m actually in a better mood today since the Rays won, but I think it’s more that they showed signs of life ya know.  Tough task tonight with Sonny going against Beckett, but at least Beckett is not a lefty!  Go Rays!!

We all knew it was coming, but it sure doesn’t make it any less painful!

Percy has blown the lead in several games before, but somehow the Rays always managed to rally and get the win anyway.  Well this afternoon we got to experience what it’s like when Percy gets the loss.  It sucks fireballs!  You know Maddon’s not going to give up on him, so let’s just hope he got it out of his system.  His super sucky system!  Sorry, lil bitter.  I’ll be better in the morning.  For the record that’s not bitching, it’s expressing an emotion in the aftermath of a traumatic event.

Oh and how annoying are the Toronto Blue Jays?  If they had actually hit the ball earlier in the season there might be quite a battle for the AL East.  Anyway they are having fun being spoilers.  That’s fine and all, but they better be spoiling the Red Sox season come next week.

Garza please put an end to this madness tomorrow.  Go Rays!! 

Balfour’s Percy impersonation was not amusing!

First, sorry no post on Saturday’s game.  There was really not too much to say about it.  It was kinda like tit for tat.  Garza shut them out and so they returned the favor.

However last night the Rays won another series.  That is so groovy.  You know what else is groovy?  BJ Upton.  He knows that groove is in the heart!  He came back and went three for five.  I hope he keeps stickin it to the man.

Also congrats to Kazmir for making it through six innings this time.  Now that your not afraid of six, how about shooting for seven next time.

The ninth inning of this game was not amusing.  Did anyone else read Navi’s body language.  He was getting so pissed.  You can’t even see his face, but I’m sure it said “C’mon throw a strike already!” 

I think Mr. Balfour should visit the same baseball guru that worked wonders for Matt Garza.

Guru:  What can I do for you Mr. Balfour.
Balfour: I was hoping you could help me like you did Matt.
Guru:  Well son you must help yourself, but maybe I can give you some guidance.
Balfour:  That would be great.
Guru:  First I must tell you that your case is far more serious than Mr. Garza’s.
Balfour:  Aw, bloody hell mate.
Guru:  Wanna go to Outback steakhouse to finish this session?
Balfour:  Thanks, but I just want this to be over.
Guru:  Part of your problem stems from you trying to overcompensate for your very unfortunate last name.
Balfour:  Really, it doesn’t bother me.
Guru:  It’s the underlying cause for all of this.
Balfour:  I don’t even know what the problem is.  My boss just said I need to see you.
Guru:  Have you not ever watched video of yourself pitching?
Balfour:  Yeah sure, so?
Guru:  Did you not notice the strutting around?
Balfour:  No.
Guru:  Or the puffing of the cheeks?
Balfour:  I’m just breathing.
Guru:  Like a blowfish!  What’s with the swearing?
Balfour:  I’m pumping myself up.  Visualizing the batter as the enemy.
Guru:  You’re not visualizing, your vocalizing.  If your not careful, your going to get your ass kicked.  I mean you can jaw jack Josh Hamilton because he’s found Jesus, but Milton Bradley will hurt you.  Have you seen him break a bat.  Imagine your the bat.  What’s with swearing at Michael Young?  That girl at Her Rays thinks he’s the cherry on top of baseball goodness.  You are free to strike him out, but being mean to him is not tolerated.
Balfour: Uh, okay.
Guru:  What’s with the necklaces?
Balfour:  I don’t know I just think they look cool.
Guru:  Wrong my friend.
Balfour:  Am I doing anything right?
Guru:  Yes, you see all of these annoying qualities you have, and trust me they are very annoying, they can all be overlooked if you just strike these mothers out. 
Balfour:  Really.
Guru:  Really.  When you start walking people, imagine Rays fans throwing boomerangs but they all come back at you.
Balfour:  Whoa.
Guru:  This is not a reason to get more pumped up out there son.  You need to chillax.
Balfour:  You mean like relax?
Guru:  Duh.  Scott Kazmir has something that could help you with this.  Just make sure to bring a bag of Doritoes to the bullpen with you.
Balfour:  Thanks I think.
Guru:  Peace out.

Bloody hell mates, what you got against Texas?

It sure seemed like the Rays were doing anything they could to avoid finishing this game and heading to Texas.  Somebody should have called time-out to bribe the boys with promises of big Texas sized steaks and beer and women if that’s what it takes.  I missed the Rays, but not enough to spend 4.5 hour with them today!

So I watched the game in a fly by manner.  Every once in a while I would zoom in and check it out.   Here are some of the things I saw…

The A’s were wearing an alternate jersey.  Much debate followed as to whether they were black or very dark green?  Any fashionistas care to clear this up?

I learn something new every day, and BJ might have too.  Evidently if you round second but then you need to get back to first, you have to touch second again on the way.  I guess this makes sense.  I just never knew it was a rule.  I’m going with the I’m just a girl excuse on this one.  BJ should go with the nobody ever told me that excuse.

Shields faces two batters and gives up a triple and a homerun.  Not exactly the start he was hoping for I bet.

Clifford scores from first.  Two times!

Ruggiano RBI scores Clifford again.  Somebody get that big red dog some water.  I almost said a bone, but figured your dirty minds would wander.  No, just me huh.

Rocco strikes out looking with bases loaded.  That is such a pet peeve for me that even players that I love hear about it.

Chad Bradford, who’s name is really fun to say, got his job done with a little help from  Baldelli who laid out for one in right.  My response to this is holding my breath and covering my eyes by the way.

(photo Yahoo sports)

Howell strikes guys out left and right.  Really, some were righties and some were lefties.

Wheeler held serve too.  Oops too much Olympics.

Upton hits an RBI double off of the invincible Ziegler.  To that point he hadn’t given up a run in 39 innings.  Bossman thought it was time to end that streak.

Percy math.  Walk + ball hog = sprained knee.  To his credit the Rays have yet to lose when he blows the save.  I guess he’s a winner.  I would like to know if he sprained his knee coming off the mound to field the bunt or when he decided to play tag instead of flipping the ball?

Balfour gets a strike out but then gives up a game tying single to Frank Thomas.  I didn’t see this at bat, so I don’t know, but was Balfour in love with his fastball again and left one up?  I’m the only Rays fan that thinks he gets a little too pumped sometimes.  I still love him.

Rocco tried to score on a wild pitch but got a bummer bounce and was out by a mile.  So it went in this endless frickin game.

Someone mentioned the steak to Pena and hit one out. 

Finally the Rays are up by two in the bottom of the 12th.  All they need is three outs.  What do they do?  Error, wild pitch, hit batter but they finally do get the win!  Rays win another series!  Tampa 7 – Oakland 6.  Let’s hope they can keep it going in Texas.  Go Rays!!

Closers or Openers??

The Rays won a doozy this afternoon in extra innings.  Final score Detroit 5 – Tampa 6.  Some thoughts on the game…

When I turned on the TV there was some bizarro cartoon involving the Rays and an ice cream lady.  I came into it in the middle so I was a little confused.  Was it funny?  My reaction was basically “What the heck was that?”

In the second inning Joe Magrane was talking about how Polanco is a gold glove second baseman.  Then he called him a very heady player.  I almost spit out my soda.  If you’ve ever taken a good look at Polanco, he is indeed very heady!

Longo legs out a single on a ground ball to third.  He actually looked swift.  Let that be a lesson to all the slackers out there.

In the third the Rays had a pop up problem.  A ball was hit to shallow right, Aki made his way out there and Hinske was coming in, but neither caught the ball.  I have no idea whose ball it was, but that runner ended up scoring later in the inning which is frustrating.  Barty made a nice line drive catch and doubled off Guillen to stop the madness.

In the fifth Polanco doubled and Ordonez drove him in.  2-0 Tigers.

Polanco doubled again in the seventh and that was the end of Shields day.  Which was a very good day by the way.

Bottom of the 7th BJ ground rule doubled.  Total bummer since he was diggin for three.  Yes he was hustlin.  Love it.  Pena drove him in.  2-1 Tigers.

Balfour finished the 7th and then came out for the 8th.  I think he gets a little too pumped up.  Sheffield got himself into a full count, and Grant was getting more and more into it, at which point he pitched it hard but it was right over the middle of the plate.  He’s not going to be able to blow it by everybody.  Had he kept that ball down he would have struck him out, instead Sheffield crushed it out of the stratosphere.  3-1 Tigers.

Bottom 8th – Hinske gets one right back.  Home-run! 3-2 Tigers.  Barty strikes out, it happens.  Aki singles.  BJ Upton hit a two run homer to give the Rays the lead.  So awesome.  He’s heating up.  3-4 Rays.

Percy comes out in the 9th with a one run lead, so what does he do?  He gives up a first pitch home-run to Granderson.  So deflating.  Tie ball game. 

Nothing doin in the bottom of the 9th, and I mean nothin.  I think Jonny Gomes struck out with out even swinging the bat.  That’s not going to get ya the walk-off celebration.  On to the 10th.

Percy out to work again.  He lays one in there for Miguel Cabrera and Crawford watches it fly.  No shit, he gave up another home-run.  5-4 Tigers.  He then managed to get a fly out, but followed it with two walks.  Miller came in to save his behind, and actually did just that.

Bottom of the tenth, better known as wack a Ray.  Aybar walked.  Bartlett tried to pull back from a bunt attempt, but took it off his index finger.  On his right hand.  Not good people, Barty has a boo boo.  It looked pretty nasty when he removed his batting glove.  Everyone send him good vibes tonight.  Last time this team was without Barty, they went into a downward spiral, and I was sad since I love him. 

Maddon brings Riggans in to pinch hit for Bartlett.  Next thing ya know, Riggy’s layin on the ground.  He took a pitch to the chest.  It was actually really scary.   You have to love him too, he just tried to catch his breath, shook it off and went to first base.  Aki comes up and lays down the perfect sac bunt and moves the boys over.  Sweet two guys in scoring position, one out.  BJ draws a walk, a questionable walk, but a walk is a walk.  Walk much?  Bases loaded.  Crawford singles, run Rays run.  Aybar scores, but Riggy has to stop at third since he didn’t get a good jump.  Tie ball game. 

Bases loaded again, only 1 out.  Longo strikes out.  Two outs.  Oh and I really want the game to be over since I hate sitting there for so long during the day.  It’s all up to Pena, and he delivers.  The walk off walk!  Rays sweep.  Detroit 5 – Tampa 6.

Once again Percy blows the save but the Rays still win?  He’s a lucky SOB. 

Tomorrow night it’s time to rock Cleveland.  Let’s hope Garza can out-duel Lee, he seems to like a challenge.  Go Rays!!

photo from yahoo sports