HER RAYS!

As we speak the Rays are in Seattle.  They probably had an excellent cup of coffee this morning.  Now that they are awake, it’s time that we chat.

Rays,

Stellar job taking two from Boston and rockin the Trop.  That was so lovely. 

Now I must apologize in advance.  You see, I will be rooting for you this week, just not like usual.  I suck at west coast games.  I’m very sleepy by the time the game even starts.  So I want to admit to being a big bucket of fail.  That way you know what to expect.  I will however cheer extra hard for you during the afternoon games. 

That doesn’t mean that you can slack off though.  You’ve got these teams right where you want them.  Do not let up.  Got it.  None of the errors.  None of the disappearing bats.  No pitching of meatballs.  Pretend they are Red Sox if you have to.  Just get it done.  Mmmkay thanks.

In parting I would like to leave you with some famous lines from the genius John Hughes that remind me of a couple of you boys.

JP Howell – “The thing is, I’m kinda like the leader.  Kinda like the king of dipshits.”

Joe Maddon – “We’re all gonna have so much fu*king fun we’ll need plastic surgery to remove our smiles.”

Longo – Oh he’s very popular Ed.  The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, dickheads – they all adore him.  They think he’s a righteous dude.

Joe Nelson – Long Duck Dong

Go Rays!

This game made me grouchy right from the get go!  Why the heck wasn’t it in HD?  Come on!

Where is Brian Anderson?  I want Brian Anderson.  Come on!

What is it about AJ Burnett?  The Rays seem to be rendered useless when he’s on the mound.  Is the snarl his source of power? Come on!

Shields had his normal rough inning early, but what was up with the back to back homers in the 6th?  Come on!

Time to order new bats, because these ones aren’t working.  I don’t have the energy to look up the stats, but the Rays seem to be down in the count a lot.  New York looked a lot more aggressive at the plate.  Granted they were getting fatter pitches, but they really came out swinging right from the beginning.  Take notice fellas.  Come on!

Joe Nelson scares the crap out of me.  He comes in a throws a wild pitch then walks the guy.  Come on!  (he was able to work out of it though)

Evan the RBI machine had a rough go of it tonight.  Unless you count the RBI GIDP.  Come on!

Balfour made me yell at the TV during the Jeter at bat.  He blew two fast balls right by the swinging shortstop, then instead of throwing some junk he decided to press his luck.  Big surprise Captain America singles to right.  Ugh.  Come on!

Albaladejo better watch his back.  Do not hit Longo.  I WILL come down there.  Come on!

Is it bad that I wished Pena was batting 6th when he came up with a chance to pull the Rays within one.  Fail.  Come on!

Shouse.  No other words are needed.  Come on!

Pat, nice home run, but you are late to the party.  Please bring more tomorrow.  Come on!

Yes this game made me Ms. Grouchy McGrouchypants.  The Yanks looked like the much better team.  I hope it made the Rays grouchy too.  Time for them to score some runs, and they have their work cut out for them tomorrow.  CC vs. Kazmir.  Oy.  Let’s hope for the best.  Go Rays.  Come on!

The Rays didn’t seem to have any problems with the altitude.  Everybody was hitting and they easily put a stop to the Rockies hot streak.  If someone could beat the stinkin Red Sox, the Rays might finally gain some ground!

Anyway that was a fun game, in that it seemed like a sure thing.  What do you suppose was the source of Rays power?  I believe Mr. Maddon gets the credit once again.  You see he required Western wear for the road trip.

Yep, those are your Tampa Bay Rays.  That is genius!  The Heater has a better look at the picture, and for more individual looks check out FSflorida’s facebook page.

A few comments:
I don’t know why I’m surprised, but BJ even makes western look good.  Mmmm.
James Shield’s belt buckle is ginormous.  I feel like maybe he’s trying to compensate for something since Joe Nelson entered the locker room.
Todd Kalas should win an award.  I think he stole his jacket from Anne Hathaway’s character in Brokeback Mountain.
Sonny looks like a dangerous cowboy.  The Duke!
Gabe Gross seems like he just pulled that flag shirt out of his closet.  It suits him.
It’s funny how a couple of the guys have matching shirts.
Matt Garza starring in Hollywood Cowboy.
Where in the hell did they find huge and enormous chaps for Niemann?  I have to admit, I’m a little frightened.
Who’s wearing the 15 gallon hat?

Let’s hope they can harness this power and take down the Rockies again tonight.  Go Rays!

Thanks Karen!

This game was frustrating because the Rays really seemed to outplay the A’s.  It just felt like they would put that run up there first.  Let’s play the blame game.

James Shields pitched a helluva game, but his offense couldn’t help him out.  They deserve the lions share of the blame.  They had a runner on third in three separate innings with only one out, but there was not one single measly ground ball or sac fly in sight.  The 3 and 4 hitters put up zeros.

Jason Bartlett had a very untimely error in the 11th.  I blame this on Staats and Kennedy for going on and on about how great he is.  Yes he has been supremely awesome this year, but let him quietly go about his business.  Just because I write poems about him…

I guess Nelson deserves a little bit of the blame since he threw the meatball that Holliday put in the seats.

I would also like to give a big fat slice of blame to Joe Maddon.  What possessed him to bring in Navi?  That was the turning point in the game.  Gross struck out, and then all of a sudden Shields couldn’t find the strike-zone.  I understand that those things could have happened with Herny in the game but…I think he messed up the flow you know.

Oh JP and Willy don’t deserve any blame.  JP shut them down, and Willy is really looking good.  The Rays need to find him a starting job.  Oh, and I’ll take Zobrist over Kapler any day of the week. 

Tough loss but they aren’t going to win every game and there are quite a few more.  Go Rays!

Thursday’s game was so awful, all I was trying to do was wipe it from my subconscious.  Then Friday turned into a very long day.  All day I kind of had the sniffles.  Then in a super brilliant move I mowed the grass.  By the time I sat down to watch the Rays my head was completely stuffed up.  Then Scott Kazmir started pitching. 

Shortly there after the Rays were losing by seven runs.  I was starting to wonder if it was the worst day ever.  I was also starting to wonder if all the Rays pitchers were going to suck at the same time.

Thankfully Lance Cormier decided to stop the bleeding.  I’m thinking of call him the Lone Ranger since he always seems to ride in and save the day.  He also inspired the rest of the bullpen to hold the Indians.  So that the Rays lead by Zobrist and Upton could brighten my day and comeback for the win.  Yes it was their mission to make me feel better.

I also hope we can look back to BJ’s walkoff home run as a turning point in this season, since the Rays looked good again today.  Of course it helps when your starting pitcher can actually get people out.  Thank you Garza.  The bullpen held it together again.  Oh and thanks to the Professer at Rays Index I couldn’t help but stare at Joe Nelson to see what kind of package he was storing.

C’mon Rays, keep it up tomorrow!