HER RAYS!

First the disclaimer.  Remember where you’re at.  This is a female fan’s perspective.  It is not always rational or spot on like Rays Index.  It will not appeal to your mathematical side with pretty graphs like DRaysBay.  Nor will it remain eternally optimistic ala Mr. Chalk.  The reason being, girls rely way more on their emotions.

You see viewing pleasure weighs heavily into how a female fan feels about her team.  If a player is attractive and fun to watch then he gets our vote.  Some would say “Well, that’s stupid.”  To these people I would point out two things.  First stupid is a mean word.  Second we don’t go on looks and entertainment value alone, we actually want our team to win games.  However the players ability directly effects his attractiveness.

Example 1 - Matt Garza is pretty attractive.  He’s got a great smile and a rockin body.  However after game seven of the ALCS, where he was the MVP for his awesomeness, he went from pretty attractive to super hot.

Example 2 – Robert Pattison is quite hot, but what if he trotted out there daily for the Rays and his OBP was nill?  His negative baseball ability would suck the hotness from him, and while we’d wish him well, we’d call for his replacement.  Maybe Ian Somerhalder?

Now you know how my twisted mind works.  Those Girls explain it better and they even have stats to correlate.

So how do I feel about the Rays this season?  Well to tell you the truth it feels a little odd.  Normally at this time of year I am uber-optimistic.  Really believing that they can do better than 97 losses.  Then last year they won more than 97 games.  They went to the world freakin series.  Yet when I look at the team on paper, it looks even better this year? Don’t know about you, but my mind is not sure how to deal with that.

Outfield
With any luck the Rays should have a healthy Carl Crawford and BJ Upton shortly after the season starts.  It doesn’t get much better than that.  I’m also very excited that Matt Joyce got a spot on the roster.  Because of the formula above I’m hoping he can do well enough to boot one of the Gabe’s when BJ returns.  The way Ben Zobrist swung the bat last year improved his value so I’m sure he’ll be in the picture too.  I love Perez, so I’m hoping he can make it back by the dog days of summer if they need him.

Infield
The Rays have a great infield.  Longo is Mike Schmidt like.  Which is cool, unless he decides to grow the porn star mustache.  Barty is superb on so many levels.  Did anyone else like him in the lead-off spot?  Aki is back, and although he’s no Mark DeRosa, he was obviously the best looking guy on the Japanese WBC team.  That’s something.  Then there’s Mr. Carlos Pena.  He’s as pretty on the inside as he is on the outside, and he happens to be really good at baseball.  That folks is a win-win-win.

DH
I don’t really have a read on the new DH.  He’s supposedly a machine, so he shouldn’t break down.  I’m excited to see how he can help the Rays.  Cliff Floyd’s personality endeared him to me.  I’m hoping Pat’s bat endears him to me.

Catchers
Navi and Riggy.  What’s not to love.  If Navi can continue to improve every year that would be phenomenal.  Plus Riggy is the perfect back-up.  He’s so cute that he doesn’t have to be awesome, and when he is it’s like the cherry on top of your day.

Pitchers
This is where I get a little worried.  Don’t get me wrong these guys can pitch.  I’m just worried about them staying healthy.  Although the Rays have a better back-up plan than most teams.  Ever heard of Wade Davis or David Price?  That’s quite a back-up plan.  I’ll be following them at Watching Durham Bulls.  So who should be the fifth starter when the season starts?  If you go by my highly scientific theories it should be Jason Hammel.  He is way more attractive than Jeff Niemann.  Plus his Mom is a HerRays reader.  Major bonus points.  Besides I think Niemann is better trade bait.

The Bullpen
I just hope they can be more like 2008 than 2007.  This is the one area where I could care less what a player looks like.  At this point in the game my sanity is much more important.  Of course if the Rays could find a closer that looked like CJ Wilson and pitched like Mariano Rivera I would not object.  Plus there would be many nights I would go to sleep with a smile on my face.

All of that to say I’m totally geeked about the start of the season.  Go Rays!  Too bad Monday’s game is during the day.  I could use some brown liquor to help me deal with this…

The Rays are rad!

Did you see that game?  I fell asleep.  No shit.  I did watch it when I woke up though, and of course I felt like I totally missed out on bonding with Rays fans worldwide.  Like how I assume there are Rays fans everywhere?

Anyway I’m so stoked that the little engine that could keeps on going.  They think they can, they think they can.

Troy Percival might need more than just positive thinking to get back on track though.  Wow.  There were so many times I thought the Rays had lost that game last night.

It started with the Dan Wheeler deja vu experiment.  Let’s walk Youlikis again, and pitch to Jason Bay.  Glad Wheeler rewrote the ending.

Finally Pena, the hunk of burnin love, hit a three run homer.  So awesomely rad. 

Not so fast though.  Percy comes in and immediately loads the bases.  Thank heavens Maddon is losing his patience with him and sat him down.  I’m all for Percy trying to be awesome, but if you’re hurt you’re going to do nothing but hurt the team.  Time to admit that until you’re healthy someone else is better suited for the job.

Hammel, the unlikeliest of heroes, comes in and saves the day.  Now I feel really bad about not wanting to let him on the bus the other day!

Rays won, in Boston.  How sweet is that?  A big ole free donut sweet, I say.  Go Rays!! 

(photo ESPN)

Can we get Jason Hammel one of those?

Yay, Nay, Whew.  That’s how I felt last night.  Yay, the Rays are beating the Yankees.  Not just beating them but shutting them down.  Then Nay, the ninth inning happened.  Finally whew, they got the win.

I’m glad I didn’t post anything last night, since I was having really not nice thoughts about Jason Hammel.  His task last night was to get three outs.  He gave up five runs!  Good thing he had a seven run cushion!  I was screaming that they shouldn’t let him on the bus for the road trip!

Of course this morning I felt guilty for being so mean.  He has had some good moments for the Rays, and he’s probably a nice guy.  He was really terrible last night though.

So right here right now I’m stating in front of you witnesses that I promise not to bitch about Percy anymore.  While he’s caused me stress and uncomfortableness he hasn’t completely blown it or given up five runs in the ninth that I can remember.

I’m really glad the Rays won before heading off on their road trip, and they looked good too.  I think it’s time for Longo’s return, if he’s ready.  The team could use another little lift.  It seems like they’ve come at the right time all season.  Go Rays!!

By the way I think the obvious caption for that photo is “douche bags”, but I’d love to hear your versions. 

Staats and Magrane storm forecasters on sucky pitcher night.

It was the top of the 4th when the Rays announcers predicted a storm and warned the fans.  Even though it was Sonny, baseballs were being left up in the zone.  They warned us that technically the A’s weren’t power surges, but if something didn’t change, severe weather was ahead.  Sure enough a couple of pitches later the storm hit, in the form of a three run home-run.  Take cover.

Sonny pitched seven innings and gave up three runs.  Rays fans accept that, knowing it could have been much worse.  If the offense would stop sprinkling the hits and put more of them together, three runs is chump change.  Then Maddon decides to make it sucky pitcher night.  Has anyone else ever noticed that he does this?  The non-sucky pitchers like Howell, Balfour and sometime Percival seemed to be grouped together.  Maddon used them when he wants to shut down his opponents.  But tonight his thinking was more like this…

Sonnanstine 7IP, 5H, 3ER  3-1 A’s.
Okay great, Sonny made it through seven.  We’re down by two.  I usually only go with the non-sucky pitchers when we have a lead or a tie.  Let’s throw a sucky guy in there and see how he does.  Miller’s been real sucky lately, maybe he’ll try to prove his worth.

Miller walks the first batter of the 8th. 
Shit, he walked the guy.  Next batter is a righty.  Hmmm.  Let’s leave him in.  He has to get better at some point.

Wild pitch, runner moseys on into scoring position.
That was unfortunate.

Suzuki doubles, runner scores.  4-1 A’s
(slapping forehead)When will I ever learn.  He is super sucky against right handers.

Miller walks the next batter.
Wow, he’s got issues.  Now we’re down by even more, with runners on.  Time to take a stroll to the mound.  I’m not wasting one of my non sucky guys.  Bring in Reyes.

The next batter fouls out to Navarro.
Excellent an out.  Seems like it’s been a while.  Maybe I’ll have some time for wine tonight after all.

Reyes walks the next batter to load the bases.
Eureka, the sucky guys are really suckin tonight.  They’re like Hoovers.

The next batter hits a sac fly and the runner scores.  5-1 A’s.
Well at least there are two outs now.  Let’s see if he can get the third.

The next batter singles scoring a run, and Zobrist can’t catch(but the error goes to CC?) so another run scores.  7-1 A’s.
You got yourself into this mess, you get yourself out!

Reyes gets a strike out to end the inning.
About frickin time.

Top of the 9th, 7-1 A’s.
Perfect time to give Hammel some playing time.

Zobrist biffs two balls hit to short, resulting in a run scoring.
Note to self:  add Zobrist to the sucky list.

Go Rays!!

Throw back game or throw away game?

Ever feel like you’re watching an experiment?  Or a test maybe?  Like Joe Maddon sent Glover and Hammel in to see if they could hang?  Glover could.  Hammel not so much.

Don’t get me wrong, the bats deserve some of the blame for this game, but it just felt curious at the end.

Anyway the Rays lost late at night after 13 innings.  Watching the other team celebrate the walk-off.  Something that we haven’t become accustom to this year.

Let’s hope they can pick up the series today.  Don’t let down guys!  Go Rays!!

I was there!  Edwin’s best stuff was not.

Well it was not one of the Rays better games, but it was great to finally get out to the Trop.  I even got a little choked up when the boys first ran out onto the field.  I love baseball.  It’s a game for the senses.

SIGHTS - A diving catch.  An outfielder gunning out a runner.  A nasty breaking ball.  A stolen base.  An awesome throw.  A guy with his sunglasses on the back of head sitting in front of me. (I don’t get this.)

SOUNDS – The crack of the bat.  The pop of the mitt.  The cowbells.  The cheer after a homerun.  The cheer after a dropped fly ball.  The songs the batters come in to.  The annoying lady behind me who thought she was the first one to come up with the BallFour joke, and the Uggla joke.  Brilliant!

TASTES – Hot dogs way better than anywhere else.  Draft beer.  Soggy nachos.  Good stuff.

TOUCH – High-fiving Raymond.  Clapping to the beat of the bells.  Everybody that has to walk in front of you to get to their seats.

SMELL – The food.  I don’t sit close enough to smell the dirt or sweaty boys.  The cologne the man behind me decided to bathe in.

Would have been nice to have more to cheer about, but I still had fun.  Edwin had no control, he must have given it to Nolasco.  BJ struggled too.  He missed a ball in right center, and struck out three times.  He know he’s the constant right?  C’mon Bossman Jr. keep driving this team.  Balfour looked great.  Glover and Hammel looked not great.

Don’t want to dwell on this one.  They won the series.  Now it’s time to take on the Cubs.  Go Rays!! 

Mr. Garza you are grounded.

I hope you are not proud of your behavior today.  At first you did really well.  Even when your friends were not sharing and dropping fly balls.  You set a good example by bailing them out with strikeouts.  However I did notice you shaking off your catcher several times.

It went downhill from there.  You gave up a two run homerun.  Yes that did suck, but it is no reason to lose control of your emotions and therefore pitches.  I hate to break it to you but that’s not the last homerun you are going to give up.  It was only the 4th inning and you have a great offense.

You have got to get it together dude.  Remember you are a gifted bad ass pitcher.  It’s time for you to start meditating or something.  Bring some optimism into your life.  It’s kind of nice to be a glass half full person, you should try it.  Just think of it this way.  Rays fans don’t want you in time out, because then Jason Hammel comes in to pitch.  So suck it up next time and pitch three more scoreless innings and keep your team in the game instead of throwing a hissy fit.

Now for your punishment.  First, you will apologize to Navi.  He was just trying to get you to pull your head out of your arse.  Also quit shaking him off.  Second, you will have 4 or so days of detention.  At that point your team will need you to be in excellent form both physically and mentally, because several of your teammates have been suspended for behavior problems.

I hope we don’t have to have this discussion again any time soon.  You just need to apply yourself and you can be anything you want to be.  Even a Cy Young winner. 

Oh and could ya cut back on the spitting?

The Rays lost 3-6 today, but they did win the series.  Let’s hope they look better tomorrow against the Angels.  Go Rays!!

I finally got to see CJ Wilson of the Rangers pitch.  He’s cute.  Reminds me of Timothy Olyphant, you know the guy from the movie Catch and Release.

UGLY

I didn’t even have to see it to know it was fugly.  Tampa 1 – Oakland 9.

Sonny didn’t have it, and neither did Hammel. 

The Rays had three hits, the A’s had three homeruns.

There weren’t any errors on the scoreboard, but from the sounds of it Gomes wasn’t making any plays in left field.  He hit a homerun later but by that point nobody cared.

Oh well, they won another series, and it gave me the chance to watch some really good soccer.  C’mon home boys, time to crank out the big O’s.  hee-hee.   Go Rays!!

So how bad was it?  My friends vetoed my choice to watch the Rays tonight, and I’m way to tired to go back and watch the recording.  I did see updates throughout the game and have since checked the box score and all that good stuff, but that doesn’t tell the whole story.

Garza stayed right with Marcum through 6 innings.  Although it looks like he had to work much harder?

How bad did the Rays hitters look?  Only 1 hit before the 9th inning.

They got to Garza in the seventh, but only scored 1.  He looked pretty pissed going into the dugout.  They are still in the game at this point though, and I think we’d all be happy every time Garza goes 6+ and only gives up one run.

But then the bullpen implodes?  I guess we’ve all been waiting for it to happen.

Did Hammel suck as bad as it looks on paper?

The Rays did get on the board in the 9th with two outs.  They scored two runs on a double by BJ.  Fittingly it ended with a Pena strikeout.

Well sounds like it’s best to forget this one.  Let’s hope the Rays can pick up another series with a win tomorrow.  Go Rays!!

I’m blaming it on the cold.  The Rays won six in a row…Where it’s warm!  Tonight they lost 4-7, where it’s freakin frigid.

I was late getting to a TV and was quite surprised to see that Hammel was done early.  Sounds like he didn’t have much control.  He was cold!

The relievers weren’t themselves either.  Yep, that’s right they were downright chilly. 

The Rays bats were cold too, until the seventh but the Rays were down 0-7.  They scored 4 but couldn’t get any more than that.

Tomorrow night they need to crank up the heaters so the Rays can warm up and win this series.  Go Rays!!