The opening was majestic.  The banner was raised.  There were flags and singing and booing of politicians.  Our favorite cast was in their dress whites.  Fans everywhere were stoked.

It was great to see our heroes Price, Shields and Davis turn in great performances.  However, the plot was full of twists and turns.  The most shocking of which was the cast of villains.

These unsuspecting fellows were terrifying.  One was an artist, one was a marksman, and the third fellow threw darts.  Normally this wouldn’t be a problem, as our guys are pretty talented themselves but their weapons of choice seemed to be broken or compromised.

Brian Roberts was another antagonist that really got under the viewer’s skin.  In the way that you really wish he was on your side instead of the dark side.

The Rays did have their own interesting characters.  BJ the “bad boy” is always a focal point.  Fans either love him or hate him.  He was one of the bright spots but also ran into some problems.  I for one love him protecting center field, but I think he needs to bulk up if he wants to tangle with catchers at the plate. 

Sam Fuld is a nice addition as the sidekick.  My friend laughed when I called him a pocket rocket.  I just think he’s small, totally cute and he gets the job done.

Elliot Johnson made his season debut and fit right in.  He helped bring in a run the Rays way with a beautiful squeeze bunt.  Classic!

Johnny Damon did provide some comedic relief with his play in left field.  However the San Fransisco Giants outfielders were totally hilarious, so he won’t win any awards.

Lets hope the Skipper sharpens his skills as the season goes on.  There were two occasions I thought he left his starting pitchers in a bit too long.  One would think in their first start of the season any sign of fatigue would be a red flag?

There were three shocking twists.  First Jake McGee made a little boo-boo that was kind of a big deal.  Second Benny Z, one of the Rays who seems to still have his powers, drove one high and deep and far but alas another villain Nick Markakis prevented the happy ending from coming to fruition.  Third and most devastating, the shows biggest star Evan Longoria was injured and his storyline will be on the back burner for a couple of weeks.  I was left wanting a montage complete with sad music of his in game makeover.  Sorry folks but the mullet has left the building.

So in the end although the ratings were excellent, the Rays premier was a little darker and more depressing than I thought it would be.  I think this cast of characters has the potential to be extremely entertaining.  I guess we’ll have to tune in tomorrow to see what happens when the Angels come to town.  Go Rays!

Mr. Buzzkill

The game started off okay.  Price was a little amped, but that’s pretty common for him.  He worked out of trouble in the first.  Things looked good for the Rays in the bottom of the inning when they were able to load the bases with one out, but they failed to bring in a run.  Major buzzkill.

I’m tired, so here are some of my thoughts from the game.

Carlos Pena got thrown off his game in his first at bat and didn’t recover at all.  I love his defense but I don’t know how Maddon can keep him in the line-up tomorrow.

My love for Rocco Baldelli is well documented.  However I was extremely surprised that he made the post season roster.  I secretly hope he recaptures the magic and proves his worth, but he looked awful today.

David Price has had huge success living off his fastball.  Today I found myself longing for him to mix it up.  He was occasionally leaving it up, and the Rangers know exactly what to do with a fastball.  I guess I just wish he would have given them  more to think about.  He’s a hummer, maybe a chucker like James will have better luck?

Take a look at the Rangers line-up.  Did you really think it would be Francoeur and Molina doing the damage.

What ever happen to the Rays way of manufacturing runs?  Zobrist had a lead-off double in the 2nd inning.  The next two batters were Shoppach and Rodriguez.  Isn’t their goal a ball hit to the right side to move Ben?  Why was there no bunt?  I mean to me Shoppach is like having a pitcher bat anyway.  Good pitchers can bunt.  Shoppach struck out and Sean lined out.
The eighth inning also had Jaso lead off with a single.  BJ was up next.  Is it too late in the game to bunt him over?  BJ struck out badly.

Green lights are bad.  At least when your pitcher grooves a fast ball right down the middle and his opponent sends that ball packin.  This happened twice by the way.

I missed Sean’s error.  Was it bad?

Ben Zobrist was the bright spot today.  He hit a  home run and a double not to mention a hard liner in the ninth.

Chad Qualls was also really good.  He reduced the big Rangers bats to measly ground balls.

Red lights are bad.  The contrast in styles was never more evident than in Dan Johnson’s at bat.  The Rangers had been green lighting their sluggers all day.  Dan Johnson got ahead 2-0 in the count and proceed to take a fastball right down the pipe.  He got another pitch to hit at 3-1.  He ended up walking.  Some think that’s great.  I would have to like to see him swinging. 

Glass half full – it’s only one game and no matter how bad the Rays looked, we all know they are capable of big things.

If you want to read something a little more positive on the Rays, I did a guest blog post over at Oh, It’s Those Girls.  I try to convey why the Rays are a lovable team.  Her blog is stellar.  Hopefully the Twins fans won’t mind me mucking it up for a bit.

Go Rays!

Look out!  Javier Vasquez done lost his mind, and he’s shooting at everybody.  The three players who were hit were all fringe players and none of them were hurt.  However I did not like seeing Dan Johnson step into the firing zone.  Thankfully the situation was diffused and no harm was done except to the career of the suspect in question.

Look out!  The Rays are right back in the thick of things.  The division is within reach.  How cool is that.

Nothing works better to bring back a little bit of that warm fuzzy feeling than beating the Yankees.  Especially Price vs CC round two.  Throw in a little Baldelli contribution and all is right with the world.

Speaking of Mr. Baldelli, I had a dream about him the night before.  No not that kind of dream sheesh.  Get your mind out of the gutter.  It must have been the combination of too much sugar before bed and my subconscious wondering when Rocco was going to be back in the line-up.  Anyway I was having lunch with my mom at some pub type place and Rocco was there dining with some old timers.  Before you know it we start talking, and we totally hit it off.  So we sat there talking for a long time and the last thing I can remember is me asking him “Why aren’t you in New York?”  I woke up and that night he was back in the line-up.  I know, I’m weird.

It’s the Rays last homestand.  I need some advice.  When do you think they will clinch a play-off spot?  That’s the game I want to be at.  C’mon people this is a matter of national importance!

I have one other dilemma.  Who do we want the Rays to play in the first round?  There is no good answer.  When you get to the playoffs you want to play a team that makes you snarl your lip and want to beat the crap out of them.  Are the Twins this kind of team.  NO.  How can you not help but like the Twins?  Plus even if you don’t like them, you definitely don’t hate them.  The other option is the Rangers.  Have you seen the Rangers?  Yeah they’re the team with CJ Wilson, Michael Young and Ian Kinsler.  It is impossible to snarl your lip at these boys. 

exhibit A

Yeah you might start to make a “bring it” face, but you’ll end up more like  “how you doin”

Quite simply the Rays might have to go with the more polite approach.  “Excuse us, nothing against you all over here, but we’re just trying to make it to the ALCS”  That could work for me.  Go Rays!

It’s that time of year Rays fans.  I don’t know who originally said it, but Derek Jeter preaches it all the time.  Good teams make the playoffs, hot teams win in the post season.  The Rays are a good team and barring a disaster of epic proportions they will make the playoffs.  However they definitely don’t look like a hot team right now.

I’m not the only one who is fretting over this matter.  B. Woodrum over at DRaysbay wrote an excellent piece on this very subject.  He? looked at the last five World Series winners and their level of hotness* going into the playoffs.  He did his best to make me feel a little better.  There have been teams that were hot all the way through, and others that were not hot in September but then turned it on in October.

I guess what I really want is for the Rays to give me a warm fuzzy feeling, and soon.  I want them to build up my confidence in them.  I want their pitchers to return to getting people out.  I don’t want broken Jeff  Niemann and Matt Garza.  I want to see Benoit and Soriano, not Wheeler.  I want Zorilla to let loose.  I want Brignac ungrounded.  I want the manager on his game, not all like “oops my bad, I brought Garza back out after he clearly was done.”

Hopefully tonight they can play a clean game.  Shields can use more of his off-speed stuff and they can pull out a win.  Hopefully they can work on restoring the warm fuzzy or I might have to start shopping for a Snuggy.  Go Rays!

*note – hotness here is defined as good at baseball.  Being a girls blog hotness is usually defined differently around these parts, but if that were the case the Rays would normally win hands down.  However right now they are being brought down by Longo’s mulletness.

Tonight James Shields was really great.  He held the Yankees to one run.  Plus there was nary a long ball in sight.  So great.

Thank you to Evan Longoria for getting the first hit of the night and loosening things up.

Dan is the man!  Dan Johnson that is.  How many runs were on the scoreboard?  Four.  How many runs did Mr. Johnson drive in?  Four. 

Derek Jeter will be adding an Emmy to his trophy colosseum this evening.

I don’t think I’ve ever told Grant Balfour that I love him before tonight.  I told him quite emphatically this evening.

Soriano for MVP.  That’s my vote and I’m sticking to it.  Yes I just untucked my shirt when I typed that.  (Such a lie.  Who tucks in their pajamas?)

Enjoy the off day and rememeber the Rays are in first place.  Most excellent!  Go Rays.

Captain Obvious here, but that game last night was phenomenal!  Some people don’t care for pitching duels.  They say they are boring.  I say those people are on crack.  There’s nothing better than two guys going toe to toe for eight innings.  Then the bullpens having to try to rise to the occasion.

I’ll be honest.  I have been a little worried about the Rays lately.  The pitching has been somewhat terrifying.  However tonight Maddon used nothing but the best and kept the Rays in the game, just long enough.  Not sure why Girardi wasn’t doing the same? 

There was only one extra base hit all night and boy was it a doozy.  Reid Brignac!  How can you not love this kid.  I know there’s a lot going on in Mr. Maddon’s head but I sure wish we could see more of him in the line-up.

Anyway the Rays get a big boost by winning a nail biter.  I for one am going to need a nap if I want to be awake for round two.  Go Rays!

Game – The Red Sox took the first game since the Rays are sucked into some alternate universe on Friday nights.  It’s bizarre.  Lester wasn’t sharp, but the Rays offense was anemic again.  The only run they scored was on a wild pitch.  Not a single run batted in.  Ugh.  Price pitched pretty well except to Victor Martinez.  Conclusion – If the Rays make it to the playoffs there might have to be some sort of Crash Davis rain delay like scenario planned if a game is scheduled for Friday night.  Oh and Martinez must be beaned.

Set – Saturday night fever!  Garza and Bucholz were dealing.  Martinez was once again a pain in the bum.  However BJ sat on a curve ball and tied the game up all by himself.  In extra innings Dan Johnson hit a walk off home run.  I must now apologize to him because I said some not nice things to him during the course of the game.  Then he had his post game interview and he seemed so excited and nice.  I will be dealing with my guilt issues this week.  Conclusion – Victor Martinez is a drama queen, with a little AJ Pierzynski sneakiness thrown in.  He did not foul that ball off his foot, but after a brilliant performance sold it to the umpire.  He must be punished.

Match – James Shields led the Rays to the series win on Sunday.  Just as Joe Morgan was talking about the shift and how deep the 2nd baseman was playing, Carlos Pena hit a ball that no shift in the world was going to stop.  Zobrist got another base hit.  Maybe things are looking up for him?  I hope so, because I’ve found myself wishing for him to have a day off.  It  might have something to do with missing Briggy baseball though!  Carl Crawford showed how awesome he is.  The bad news is he did it on national television and basically sold himself.  Now everybody wants one.  Dan Johnson had another big hit driving in the go ahead run.  I feel like we should also mention Longo being steady and the bullpen.  They were not scary at all this weekend!  Conclusion – CC hit Martinez with his bat, and Carlos slid in spikes up, but I still feel a little gypped.

The game, set, match theme is because today is the start of the US Open.  Tennis in prime time folks.  Get excited!

Let’s hope the Rays can keep those Jays at bay.  Go Rays!

This year there is an added bonus to the bragging.  Matt Joyce.  They used to love him, but now he is ours.  Mwaa, haa, haa, haa.  Not only is he ours but he happens to play awesome against his old club!  He went 4-9 with a double and a home run this series.  Plus he’s super cute.  He is quickly becoming one of my favorites. 

Here’s hoping the day off does the boys some good and they come home and get hot again.  They need to cool off those Orioles.  Go Rays!

Alright you bunch of pansy asses listen up and listen good.  You have now managed to lose five games in a row.  So how about you remove those five fingers from your buttocks and start using them to play baseball.  You aren’t paid a boatload of money to stand there and look pretty.  Except for the home run festival on Saturday, your pitchers are trying to carry your ton of tonnage but their shoulders are bursting at the seams.

Here’s what you’re going to do.  First you will  have a good dinner.  Stuff some mans food into those ugly mugs.   Meat and potatoes, none of this foofy sushi shit.  Then you will  have a stiff drink.  No freakin cosmos or Michelob lights, I’m talkin brown liquor boys.  Next you are to report directly to your rooms.  Yep showers and bed.  Sorry losers don’t get no poontang.

Tomorrow night you play the Tigers in “Operation Beat Down.”  They are broken and you’re essentially playing the Toledo Mudhens.  In other words there is no bloody excuse in this entire world for you weasels to fail.  You got that.  So chug on over to mamby-pamby land and find your hitting confidence, ya bunch of jack wagons.  You’ve been doing this your whole lives.  Quit over complicating it and hit the damn ball.  Now, get outta my face so I can enjoy what little I have left of my weekend that you stomped shit all over.

Just teasing.  This was a great home-stand and since there was only intermittent blogging around here, I would like to review and give credit where credit was due.  In speedy fashion.

It started with a bang.  Matt Garza no-hit the Tigers, and Matt Joyce hit a grand slam!

The next night Shields was solid.  Pena was on and Joyce had another big RBI.  Plus there was a walk off double play!

Longo took care of the next game along with the best tag team ever of Beniot and Soriano.

David Price and Pena completed the sweep.

Then it was on to the Yankees where Wade Davis stepped up to the challenge.  Joyce was the big hitter again.  Love him.

Soriano uncharacteristically gave up a game winner to Cano.

I saw James Shields blank the Yanks and beat CC Sabathia.  So great.

Hellickson is in the building.  Strasburg who?

Two three run homers beat the Twins.  Clap for Sean Rodriguez and BJ Upton.

The game with no offense.

The game with the Trop RBI, that the Rays probably shouldn’t have won anyway.

So 8-3 is pretty great considering the competition.  It’s just that those three games they lost were so…attainable.  Baseball is so friggan great and frustrating at the same time, but I love these guys.

Go Rays!