HER RAYS!

I’m not one to fold socks actually.  I just throw them in the drawer.  It could be because I live in Florida and I hardly ever wear socks.  Anyway, I think the Rays might have thrown the Sox in the drawer this weekend.  Let’s hope that drawer is slammed shut soon.

Game – The Red Sox took the first game since the Rays are sucked into some alternate universe on Friday nights.  It’s bizarre.  Lester wasn’t sharp, but the Rays offense was anemic again.  The only run they scored was on a wild pitch.  Not a single run batted in.  Ugh.  Price pitched pretty well except to Victor Martinez.  Conclusion – If the Rays make it to the playoffs there might have to be some sort of Crash Davis rain delay like scenario planned if a game is scheduled for Friday night.  Oh and Martinez must be beaned.

Set – Saturday night fever!  Garza and Bucholz were dealing.  Martinez was once again a pain in the bum.  However BJ sat on a curve ball and tied the game up all by himself.  In extra innings Dan Johnson hit a walk off home run.  I must now apologize to him because I said some not nice things to him during the course of the game.  Then he had his post game interview and he seemed so excited and nice.  I will be dealing with my guilt issues this week.  Conclusion – Victor Martinez is a drama queen, with a little AJ Pierzynski sneakiness thrown in.  He did not foul that ball off his foot, but after a brilliant performance sold it to the umpire.  He must be punished.

Match – James Shields led the Rays to the series win on Sunday.  Just as Joe Morgan was talking about the shift and how deep the 2nd baseman was playing, Carlos Pena hit a ball that no shift in the world was going to stop.  Zobrist got another base hit.  Maybe things are looking up for him?  I hope so, because I’ve found myself wishing for him to have a day off.  It  might have something to do with missing Briggy baseball though!  Carl Crawford showed how awesome he is.  The bad news is he did it on national television and basically sold himself.  Now everybody wants one.  Dan Johnson had another big hit driving in the go ahead run.  I feel like we should also mention Longo being steady and the bullpen.  They were not scary at all this weekend!  Conclusion – CC hit Martinez with his bat, and Carlos slid in spikes up, but I still feel a little gypped.

The game, set, match theme is because today is the start of the US Open.  Tennis in prime time folks.  Get excited!

Let’s hope the Rays can keep those Jays at bay.  Go Rays!

As some of you may know, my entire family roots for the Detroit Tigers.  In years past this has been a painful thing for a Rays fan like me.  NOT ANYMORE!  The Tampa Bay Rays, the lowly franchise from Florida beat those cats 6 out of 7 times this season.  They almost came away with the sweep.  You can usually expect to lose one to Justin Verlander so we’ll let it pass.  Oh, and we’re not going to talk about all the guys left on base.  Thirteen,  just sayin.

This year there is an added bonus to the bragging.  Matt Joyce.  They used to love him, but now he is ours.  Mwaa, haa, haa, haa.  Not only is he ours but he happens to play awesome against his old club!  He went 4-9 with a double and a home run this series.  Plus he’s super cute.  He is quickly becoming one of my favorites. 

Here’s hoping the day off does the boys some good and they come home and get hot again.  They need to cool off those Orioles.  Go Rays!

I think the Rays could use some inspiration from R. Lee Ermey.  I’m sure you’re familiar with his work on the Geico commercial where he plays a former drill Sergeant turned therapist.  What would he have to say to the Rays offense?

Alright you bunch of pansy asses listen up and listen good.  You have now managed to lose five games in a row.  So how about you remove those five fingers from your buttocks and start using them to play baseball.  You aren’t paid a boatload of money to stand there and look pretty.  Except for the home run festival on Saturday, your pitchers are trying to carry your ton of tonnage but their shoulders are bursting at the seams.

Here’s what you’re going to do.  First you will  have a good dinner.  Stuff some mans food into those ugly mugs.   Meat and potatoes, none of this foofy sushi shit.  Then you will  have a stiff drink.  No freakin cosmos or Michelob lights, I’m talkin brown liquor boys.  Next you are to report directly to your rooms.  Yep showers and bed.  Sorry losers don’t get no poontang.

Tomorrow night you play the Tigers in “Operation Beat Down.”  They are broken and you’re essentially playing the Toledo Mudhens.  In other words there is no bloody excuse in this entire world for you weasels to fail.  You got that.  So chug on over to mamby-pamby land and find your hitting confidence, ya bunch of jack wagons.  You’ve been doing this your whole lives.  Quit over complicating it and hit the damn ball.  Now, get outta my face so I can enjoy what little I have left of my weekend that you stomped shit all over.

It was a good one.  The end.

Just teasing.  This was a great home-stand and since there was only intermittent blogging around here, I would like to review and give credit where credit was due.  In speedy fashion.

It started with a bang.  Matt Garza no-hit the Tigers, and Matt Joyce hit a grand slam!

The next night Shields was solid.  Pena was on and Joyce had another big RBI.  Plus there was a walk off double play!

Longo took care of the next game along with the best tag team ever of Beniot and Soriano.

David Price and Pena completed the sweep.

Then it was on to the Yankees where Wade Davis stepped up to the challenge.  Joyce was the big hitter again.  Love him.

Soriano uncharacteristically gave up a game winner to Cano.

I saw James Shields blank the Yanks and beat CC Sabathia.  So great.

Hellickson is in the building.  Strasburg who?

Two three run homers beat the Twins.  Clap for Sean Rodriguez and BJ Upton.

The game with no offense.

The game with the Trop RBI, that the Rays probably shouldn’t have won anyway.

So 8-3 is pretty great considering the competition.  It’s just that those three games they lost were so…attainable.  Baseball is so friggan great and frustrating at the same time, but I love these guys.

Go Rays!

Whew, this feels like those moments in the old movies where they have a post-coital cigarette.  Jeremy Hellickson aka the Rays’ Strasburg pitched a very sexy game tonight.  I’m sure he was nervous, but you couldn’t tell.  He owned it.  He was perfect until Delmon Young decided he’d had enough of that.  He pitched seven innings and only gave up two runs.

He was so great and fun to watch that I don’t want to give him back!  The Rays sent him back down after the game.  I want to have a toddler tantrum of epic proportions.  You know like kicking and screaming.  Maybe someone should grab onto his leg and not let him go.

This is not a bad problem to have.  I’m sure the Rays have a plan for Jeremy, but it still sucks not to have him where the Rays might need him.  I know, patience young grasshopper.  Besides we love Dan Johnson, so he’s like the consolation prize.

I also really love Matt Joyce.  He continues to get big hits and contribute.

You know what else is great?  When BJ gets on base.  He was 3 for 4 tonight.  I hope he gets hot, because he is so dynamic that he could really elevate this team to another level.

Crawford and Longo continue to be their awesome selves.  It must be fun being them.

Keep bringing it Rays!

This home-stand is a blast.
I think it deserves a poem.
If you don’t like it,
you can just go home.

It began with a no-hitter,
that turned into a sweep.
The Tigers were broken,
but the wins we will keep.

Now the Yankees are in town.
A huge series for the Rays.
The seats are sold out,
for three straight days.

Tonight started out a bit scary,
when Swisher drove in two,
but Wade Davis was a hero
he knew just what to do.

He mixed and he matched.
He pitched and he dealed,
and when he was done
the Yankees fate was sealed.

Another reason to reJoyce,
Matt hit a huge home run.
He sure picks big moments
to maximize the fun!

The best tag team ever,
again saved the day.
Benoit and Soriano,
they will make you pay.

Let’s drink to the Rays.
May they continue to wow.
Stay hot boys,
the time is now!

A face all Rays fans love.

I’m not sure how coherent this post is going to be since you know I’m totally stoked for Matt.  He threw the first no hitter in Rays history!  What a game.

I got home a little late and picked up the action in the 4th inning.  It took me a little while to figure out what was going on since frankly it was a long day and I was just glad to be sitting at that point.  First my frazzled brain goes to the score. 0-0.  Oh, pitchers duel is my next thought.  Slowly it sinks in, they are both throwing no hitters.  Then as a Rays fan my thought was “not again.”

Both pitchers were dealing until the 6th inning when Scherzer started to show signs of weakness.  He struck out Shoppach, but walked Zobrist.  Carl gets on due to catcher’s interference, and Longo walks.  The Rays have bases loaded but still no hits.  Pena strikes out for the second out.  Who’s up?  Surely you didn’t call me Joyce!  What does he do?  He HITS a grand slam!  How does he look?  Super cute!  How loud was it in my living room?  The squirrels outside ducked and covered.  IT WAS AWESOME!

Meanwhile Mr. Garza just goes about his business.  Carl Crawford as usual made a great catch and then followed it up with a home run. 

Then things got tense.  It was on to the 9th.  Todd Kalas pointed out that all the starting pitchers in the dugout were staying in the same seats so they didn’t mess anything up.  Of course I then felt the need to stay in the same spot even though I was super antsy.  Matt did a great job of keeping himself calm.  Me, not so much.  There was nail biting, knuckle cracking, and whisper chanting.  None of which mattered because he did it.  Matt Garza pitched the first no-hitter in Rays history!  IT WAS AWESOME!

You know it’s great when you’re compelled to watch all of the post game shows.  Congrats to Matt and all the Rays on a great night.  He had his own headline on the ticker!  Go Rays!

This is one of those games that you could tell your friends about and it sounds so far fetched that they’ll think you’re making the whole bloody thing up.

You – Carl Crawford got picked off first.  Guess where the ball hit him?  In the hoo-hoo.
Friend – No way.
You – Way.  He left the game.  Nobody had the balls to call him tater-nuts though.

You – Garza gave up back to back to back home runs in the second.
Friend – Get outta here.
You – Seriously I thought his head was going to explode.

You – BJ Upton hit a home run.
Friend – Because he wanted to jog around the bases instead of running hard?
You – Hardee Har Har

You – Garza gave up another home run to Luke Scott in the 3rd.
Friend – Bringing the total to four?  This story is getting deep.
You - Seems like it.

You – Matt Joyce hit a home run.
Friend – Now that I believe.
You – Plus he’s cute.

You – The Rays scored 4 runs in the 6th inning.
Friend – It’s the Orioles, that’s possible.

You – Benny made a boo boo in right and two runs scored.
Friend – You are a liar.  Take it back.
You – It wasn’t the only weird route he took.

You – Choate was only able to retire one of the lefties he faced.
Friend – That sounds about right.
You - No, I said left.
Friend – Right.

You – Brignac homered to take the lead back to two.
Friend – He’s no Sean Rodriguez.
You – Reid my lips, I love that kid and I will throw you down.

You – The Rays had a two run lead going into the ninth.  Bring in Soriano.
Friend – Game over.
You – Not so much.  Soriano’s a tad rusty since he’s been on the shelf FOREVER.  Tie ball game.
Friend – That blows.
You – Chunks.

You – They go to extra innings.  The Rays take the lead in the top of the 12th.
Friend – But?
You – But they give it right back in the bottom half of the inning. 
Friend – This story is getting tired.
You – You’re telling me.

You – Guess who blew the game?
Friend – Lance Cormier?
You – Oh you’ve heard this story before.
Friend – Tragically.
You – Know what else is tragic?
Friend – What’s that?
You – The Yankees finally freakin lost a game.
Friend – Well you always have the day game after a night game to look forward to.
You – Yippee.  Go Rays.

Baseball season is a long winding emotional roller coaster.  After the Rays lost to the Yankees Sunday, this fan was feeling a little depressed.  The Rays only won one game in the series and it seemed like all three games were there for the taking.  I felt this sense of urgency.  Why wasn’t Joe Maddon doing everything he could to win those games?  Where was Soriano?  Andy Pettitte is out after three innings and the Rays don’t find a way to win?

The Orioles are the perfect prescribed medicine for depressed baseball fans.  The Rays bats came back to life.  Wade Davis aka WD40 looked slick.  Rays win, and they’re basically right back where they started before the ugly series with the Yankees.  I should know better than to panic.  It’s a marathon right?  The Rays are in second place and half of their guys aren’t even playing up to their potential.  Yep the O’s were my chill pill.

There is one other minor thing that made this Monday a happy day.  A minor league contract that is.  Rocco Baldelli is a Stonecrab!  I’m sure his goal is to get a September call up.  I would be so stoked if he could contribute this year, since you know I happen to love him.

photo by Dennis Maffezzoli

Well I really didn’t expect the Rays to pull off a win against CC Sabathia, but he was a bit off and they definitely had their chances.  What did they do with these chances?  They squandered them!

The Rays picked away at CC and came up with three runs.  Shields was cruising, only giving up one.  Kapler made a great catch at the wall to save his butt.  Then it all went awry.  James gave up two home runs and the lead.  Bummer but the Rays still had their chances.

In the seventh one of my favorite things happened.  BJ got on base in front of Carl and soon after they were on second and third with no outs.  Can I have more of this please?  The Rays only got one run out of it, but that could have been a game winner. 

Balfour handled the seventh.  So the Rays have a one run lead going into the eighth.  I’m thinking no problem.  Benoit for the eighth and Soriano for the ninth.  Well Benoit was a little off.  I knew he wasn’t going to be perfect, but he picks now to be a little off!  He gave up a home run to Nick Frickin Swisher.  Plus he was super scary getting out of the inning, but he did keep the game tied.

Girardi makes the call to Mo Rivera to come in and shut down the Rays so the Yankees have a chance to win it.  BJ miraculously gets a broken bat single.  However he kills the rally himself by getting picked off first for the gazillionth time.  Not even close.

Maddon does not make the call to his closer and give the Rays a chance to win the game.  Instead he goes to Choate the lefty specialist.  The lefty specialist who let the two lefties he faced get on base.  I think specialist is the wrong term.  I have another term but we try to be nice around here.  Wheeler was then brought in with the daunting task of sitting Derek Jeter down in a clutch situation.  It took him four strikes but he did it. 

So who does Maddon bring in to face Swisher with two outs in the ninth of a tie game.  Lance Cormier.  Wait what?  I like Lance, but he has been struggling this year.  This game must not be as important as I think is?  Yankees win.  Rays fans go home totally confused.  After Mariano Rivera the Yankees bullpen is shaky.  The Rays would have had a chance if they could have gotten that far.  I know it’s not a save situation, but it’s a win situation.  Where was Soriano?

Time to turn it around tomorrow.  Go Rays!