As we speak the Rays are in Seattle.  They probably had an excellent cup of coffee this morning.  Now that they are awake, it’s time that we chat.

Rays,

Stellar job taking two from Boston and rockin the Trop.  That was so lovely. 

Now I must apologize in advance.  You see, I will be rooting for you this week, just not like usual.  I suck at west coast games.  I’m very sleepy by the time the game even starts.  So I want to admit to being a big bucket of fail.  That way you know what to expect.  I will however cheer extra hard for you during the afternoon games. 

That doesn’t mean that you can slack off though.  You’ve got these teams right where you want them.  Do not let up.  Got it.  None of the errors.  None of the disappearing bats.  No pitching of meatballs.  Pretend they are Red Sox if you have to.  Just get it done.  Mmmkay thanks.

In parting I would like to leave you with some famous lines from the genius John Hughes that remind me of a couple of you boys.

JP Howell – “The thing is, I’m kinda like the leader.  Kinda like the king of dipshits.”

Joe Maddon – “We’re all gonna have so much fu*king fun we’ll need plastic surgery to remove our smiles.”

Longo – Oh he’s very popular Ed.  The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, dickheads – they all adore him.  They think he’s a righteous dude.

Joe Nelson – Long Duck Dong

Go Rays!