Garza Needs a Return Visit to the Baseball Guru.

Well the Rays managed to sweep the Royals, but Mr. Garza looked a little unhinged.  Time for another session with the Baseball Guru.

Guru – Back so soon Mr. Garza?
Matt - Mr. Maddon made me.
Guru – So what’s the dealio?
Matt – I’m getting pissed off all the time again.
Guru – Who are you pissed at?
Matt – Everyone, the batter, my catcher, the umpire, the bat boy.
Guru – What’d the bat boy ever do to you?
Matt – He’s always looking at me with those shifty eyes.
Guru – Paranoid much?  Maybe he’s wondering how one person can create so much spit.
Matt – Maybe.  I’m tired of Blue sqeezin me though.
Guru – Oh Blue who.  Cry me a river.  You think your the only one?
Matt – I guess not.  What’s your problem today?
Guru – I thought we were past all this.  You’re not perfect, neither is Navi.  Sometimes the batter is going to hit the ball.  It’s their goal in life.  You are an awesome pitcher, don’t let your head get in the way.  Blah Blah Blah.
Matt – Easier said than done, I’ve got a pretty big head.
Guru – The chick from Her Rays made a good suggestion.  Pretend that gross thing on your chin is your anger.  Now take a razor and remove all the anger from your life.
Matt – Think that’ll work?
Guru – Worth a shot.  Oh, and you could make a conscious effort to chillax and get back to your bad ass self.
Matt – You got a pill for that?
Guru – Sorry not unless you want a 50 game vacation.  Might be time for a new message in your hat.
Matt – What’s wrong with “lose yourself in the music, the moment, you own it…”
Guru – Because you get more than one shot.  If one guy gets on base, get the next one out.  Plus I think you need to lighten it up.  Maybe “the faster I sit these suckers back down, the faster I get to go home to the little woman.”
Matt – Are you sayin I need to get laid more?
Guru – Couldn’t hurt.