HER RAYS!

I have to be honest though, that gave me a freakin heart attack.  James Shields was great.  He was like a security blanket, making me feel all warm and fuzzy.  Matter of fact I was so comfortable that I had a tantrum when Mr. Maddon came to take him away.  I’m terrified of the bullpen after that traumatic trip to Cleveland.

Luckily JP came in and held the Twins.  (hee hee TWSS)  It wasn’t pretty but he got the job done.  As did Wheeler, whom I have no confidence in.  C’mon, admit it, when he walked that batter you were preparing yourself for the worst.  If you weren’t you are a better man than me.

How annoying is Joe Mauer with all the hitting and stuff.  What must it be like to have a catcher that hits?

Longo’s error was fugly, but we’ll let it slide since he drove in three runs.  Plus we love him. 

We love them all tonight.  Rays win! 

At least it’s not in Cleveland anymore!  That was abysmal.

Remember last year when I surmised that BJ had been cursed by a woman scorned.  Well obviously she’s from Cleveland.  Even last season the Indians were one of the few teams with a winning record against the Rays.  Who ever said Cleveland rocks was sadly mistaken.  Cleveland blows.

The good news is the Rays don’t have to play them again this season.  The bad news is they are limping home and a tough Twins team awaits them.  Let’s hope the Rays can get their A-game back.

On a side note I’ve been working on a couple of t-shirts.  You can find them on the side bar.  I mostly made them for myself, but put them here in case anyone else is interested.  I’ve only been able to do a few, but plan to do more.  If you have any suggestions let me know.  I really wanted to do one for Garza that said “Where we understand that spit happens”, but that phrase is copyrighted by a baby bib company.  Kind of funny.

Go Rays!

Is it my fault? 

I wanted the Rays to find a way to get Aybar’s bat in the line-up, and Pat the Bat got a kink in the neck.
I wanted Price to be brought up, and Kazmir got hurt.
I wanted Percy gone, and now he is.
I wanted Zobrist to get more playing time, and Aki got the Tom Brady treatment.
I’ve always wanted to see Brignac in action, and now Barty is gone.  Barty.  Excuse me while I wipe the tears off my face.

Yes I’m aware that the world doesn’t revolve around me, but just in case here are some other things I want.

The Rays starting pitching to find their groove.  Price is so good that when Kazmir comes back all fixed the Rays will have a tough decision between Niemann and Sonny for the 5th spot.
Navi becomes a doubles machine again.
Brignac fills in so nicely that when Barty returns and keeps putting up insane numbers, Reid slides over and becomes the starting second baseman.
Longo goes on a tear again.
Pat comes back with a hot bat.
CC keeps stealing bags and scoring runs.
BJ gets it going on offense.  Making the Rays 1 thru 4 pretty unstoppable.
Zobrist and Gross keep the magic alive, sending Kapler packing.
The bullpen isn’t orthodox, but they hold and save games.

Wow that would be like winning the lottery.  Kind of like last year.  C’mon Rays!

Oh and I also want them to get the hell out of Cleveland, where they are obviously cursed.

This weekend was filled with all kinds of drama for the Rays.  I was planning on writing about losing Kazmir and Aki and gaining Price, Brignac and Thayer.  That was before the bullpen shit the bed tonight.  They gave up 6 runs with two outs in the bottom of the 9th.  The way that felt to watch I don’t know how they don’t fire somebody.

It was 10-4 at the beginning of the 9th.  Brignac did have an unfortunate error, but the sizable lead should have been enough to cover that.  Balfour and Isringhausen should be hiding in shame somewhere.  I understand that the strike zone was pretty tight, but who flippin cares.  With a seven run lead just don’t walk anyone.  Make them hit it!  Balfour did have a couple guys on when he came in so his meatball turned into 3 runs, but even after that the Rays were still ahead by two with two outs.  How do you excuse that?  Balfour walks the next batter.  In comes Isringhausen, who promptly walks three more batters.  Three!  Why was he still pitching after that?  Did Maddon just figure he had to do better at some point.  Did he scream after this game?  I did.

All weekend I was feeling pretty good about the Rays.  The offense has been rockin, and Price was here to pitch, but with a bullpen like we saw tonight times are gonna be tough my friends.

This is a sucky way to go to bed at night for sure.  I hope the Rays can shake it off and Garza can give them yet another boost.  Okay I’ll give them a weak… Go Rays.

In my previous post I informed you of a shockingly awful list published by Fox Sports in which they attempted to pick the hottest men in baseball.  As promised I will give you my list, a better list.  However, this task is not as easy as one might think.  For one I can’t seem to keep my Rays bias out of it, and it is really hard to narrow it down to ten guys.  So I’m cheating and going with ten AL players and ten NL players.  Oh and I’m not even bothering to put them in order.

American League

Carlos Pena – yep, biased
Ian Kinsler - one of many hot Rangers 
Grady Sizemore – he even has his own following, Grady’s Ladies
Jason Bartlett – more bias, but Twins fans get it
Tori Hunter – just a very handsome fella
Ryan Sweeney – plays for the A’s now giving them one hot guy
Justin Morneau – some would prefer Mauer, but not this girl
Nick Markakis – cute and really good at baseball
CJ Wilson – wowza is all I have to say
George Kottaras – Sox fans would probably put Jacoby here, but I think their new catcher is super cute

National League
disclaimer – I don’t really follow the NL but word on the street is these are the guys.

Matt Kemp – not a bad choice by Fox
Brandon Phillips – love that smile
Ryan Zimmerman – super awesome at baseball doesn’t hurt his cause
Jeff Francoeur – Frenchy the heartbreaker
David Wright – even cuter in person, love his lashes
Ryan Howard – many would go with Chase Utley or Cole Hammels, but I think Ryan is so cute.
JJ Hardy – wow who knew, maybe I should start following the NL
Joey Votto – with a name like that you just gotta be hot
Brad Ausmus – my friend said she would disown me if he wasn’t included
Rick Ankiel – pitchers who can hit rock my world

I really think Evan Longoria and BJ Upton should be on there too, but four Rays might have been a bit much.  Sooze over at Babes Love Baseball was also inspired to create a real list of hot players.  She does include Longo and she has a great picture of him.

Well there you have it.  The game we all know and love is filled with  treats for the eyes.

This morning on MSN.com, Fox Sports had one of the lead stories.  The hottest men in baseball.  Nice morning present right?  You would think but this particular piece only brought total confusion.

It is quite possibly the worst list I have ever seen.  If they were talking about good guys who do a lot for their charities, then it shouldn’t be called the hottest guys in MLB.  So why is this list so bad?  Because not only do they pick guys who are not hot, they miss so many obvious choices.

Think about all the hot baseball players out there.  It is freaking hard to narrow that down to a top ten.  Fox Sports got three maybe four, if we’re being generous, that would be in the top fifty.  Some speculate that the list was created by a guy.

All female fans have their favorites and tastes do differ.  I’m sure many a blogger has covered this aspect at one point or another.  I know Those Girls even have a podcast in which they pick all-star line-ups based on adorableness.  Good stuff, except for that AJ Pierzynski pick, but tastes do differ.

So let’s review the Fox Sports list.
Bronson Arroyo- not a bad guy to put on your top 50 list near the bottom, but top ten?  When he’s not in uniform he looks like a member of Nickelback, not that there’s anything wrong with that.  However he made a choice in the past that should prohibit him from being on any such list, ever.

Now that’s a bad hair day.

Jose Reyes – Many people would put him on this list.  He’s cute.  I don’t think he’s top ten material, but I get that some ladies would.

Marco Scutaro - Again he is definitely cute, and great at baseball, but top ten?  He has also been disqualified based on photographic evidence of severe creepiness.

Matt Kemp- Another good looking guy that I was surprised would make top ten.

Grady Sizemore – This one they got right.  9 out of 10 women would put him in their top ten.

Robinson Cano- What?!  Not even Yankees fans think Cano is hot.

David Wright- Extra credit.  He’s a no brainer, and even cuter in person.

Ichiro- Really?  I don’t see it.  He can fit in Frank Thomas’s pocket.  Aki is way hotter than him if they were trying to represent the Asian population.

Barry Zito – Now I know somebody is smoking something, and probably with Barry.  He doesn’t do it for this girl.

Jimmy Rollins – Another decent choice, but he has teammates that I think are hotter than he is.

In conclusion the Fox list is terrible.  Since I can’t do worse I will bring you my Hottest Men in Baseball list tomorrow.  (actually later today since it is after midnight now)  Hopefully the Rays will win and this will all just be gravy.

This game was frustrating because the Rays really seemed to outplay the A’s.  It just felt like they would put that run up there first.  Let’s play the blame game.

James Shields pitched a helluva game, but his offense couldn’t help him out.  They deserve the lions share of the blame.  They had a runner on third in three separate innings with only one out, but there was not one single measly ground ball or sac fly in sight.  The 3 and 4 hitters put up zeros.

Jason Bartlett had a very untimely error in the 11th.  I blame this on Staats and Kennedy for going on and on about how great he is.  Yes he has been supremely awesome this year, but let him quietly go about his business.  Just because I write poems about him…

I guess Nelson deserves a little bit of the blame since he threw the meatball that Holliday put in the seats.

I would also like to give a big fat slice of blame to Joe Maddon.  What possessed him to bring in Navi?  That was the turning point in the game.  Gross struck out, and then all of a sudden Shields couldn’t find the strike-zone.  I understand that those things could have happened with Herny in the game but…I think he messed up the flow you know.

Oh JP and Willy don’t deserve any blame.  JP shut them down, and Willy is really looking good.  The Rays need to find him a starting job.  Oh, and I’ll take Zobrist over Kapler any day of the week. 

Tough loss but they aren’t going to win every game and there are quite a few more.  Go Rays!

That was for sure the strangest game of the season.  First it starts off with a line-up problem.  A problem that nobody clued the viewer in on.  So we watched people walk around and huddle up.  All while Staats and Kennedy speculate on what’s going on.  Their first instinct was the Indians pitcher was wrong in the lineup.  Frankly I wanted him to pitch.  He is cute and it was his first game back after being broken.

Alas the problem was actually with the Rays line-up.  They had two third baseman.  The Indians wisely questioned the line-up after Zobrist played the top of the first at third base.  Longo was supposed to DH, but because of the clerical error Sonnanstine would now be batting third.  Longo would be able to come in later.  Total entertainment.

Mr. Maddon this was the baseball gods trying to tell you something.  Longoria should be playing third base.  He does not need a day off.  He is twenty three years old and he’s a stud.  You’re pretty lucky this didn’t bite you in the ass.

He is also very lucky that Sonny is the best hitter in the starting rotation.  This would not have been cool if Niemann was pitching.  Okay it might have worth a couple of laughs.  Sonny stroked an RBI double.  Nothing better than pitchers hitting.  I hope no NL teams were watching they might find Sonny quite attractive.  In a different way than us female fans of course.

I have one serious question from this afternoon though.  If the Indians Francisco consistently pounds Sonny why didn’t they just walk him after Sonny got behind in the count???

Hernia had another big double driving in some runs.  I wonder if Navi’s jealous?

Barty is still hot, in every sense of the word.

CC made a miraculous catch at the wall.  He didn’t really catch it but…  That was a sucky call for the Indians and they were very frustrated.  Rays fans probably understand that as much as anyone.

Just when things were getting dull, the Tribe tries to hit BJ.  Twice.  Then since there was no warning issued Maddon made his displeasure known.  That’s when Victor Martinez started shooting his mouth off again.  Well Carl Crawford wasn’t having any of that so he flew out of the dugout and chaos ensued.

Erik at DRaysbay makes an excellent point.  It’s starting to feel a lot like 2008.  The walk-offs and the fist fights warm our hearts.

Now if someone could please take down those Blue Jays.

Thursday’s game was so awful, all I was trying to do was wipe it from my subconscious.  Then Friday turned into a very long day.  All day I kind of had the sniffles.  Then in a super brilliant move I mowed the grass.  By the time I sat down to watch the Rays my head was completely stuffed up.  Then Scott Kazmir started pitching. 

Shortly there after the Rays were losing by seven runs.  I was starting to wonder if it was the worst day ever.  I was also starting to wonder if all the Rays pitchers were going to suck at the same time.

Thankfully Lance Cormier decided to stop the bleeding.  I’m thinking of call him the Lone Ranger since he always seems to ride in and save the day.  He also inspired the rest of the bullpen to hold the Indians.  So that the Rays lead by Zobrist and Upton could brighten my day and comeback for the win.  Yes it was their mission to make me feel better.

I also hope we can look back to BJ’s walkoff home run as a turning point in this season, since the Rays looked good again today.  Of course it helps when your starting pitcher can actually get people out.  Thank you Garza.  The bullpen held it together again.  Oh and thanks to the Professer at Rays Index I couldn’t help but stare at Joe Nelson to see what kind of package he was storing.

C’mon Rays, keep it up tomorrow!

Jason Bartlett hit another home run in the third tonight so I thought he should be honored with a poem.

Barty, Barty he’s our man
If he can’t do it, nobody can

He’ll lay down a bunt or hit a sac fly
and he hardly ever lets a grounder go by

He can steal a base or two or three
last year he even got us a taco for free

but this year he’s bigger and stronger
and that means he can hit the ball longer

yep he’s got more dingers than Big Papi
and yet he never plays lazy or sloppy

He’s a baseball player thru and thru
and major bonus, he’s super cute too

When it comes down to it, Bartys only got one glitch
As far as I know, he doesn’t know how to pitch
the end

After the ninth inning I was also inspired to write one for Percival

Mercy Percy, were you ever in one of your funks
Seriously dude, way to blow chunks!
the end