Well this morning was pleasant after finding out the Rays finally won a game. Then tonight’s game was a bummer, but not something to get upset about. Two great pitchers did their thing. Shields made one mistake early and that was all she wrote. So all in all there’s not really much to get worked up about, but…
What’s wrong with our lil pudge? Is that little bit of weight he lost throwing him off? I miss the doubles machine from last year. What can we do to help him?
Maybe Matt Garza needs to get in his face and give him a season defining moment.
Maybe we need to remind him that after every game they win he can get a free donut.
Maybe we should show him pictures of Doug Mirabelli the real estate agent.
Maybe he needs to try out Zobrist’s magic bat. Or at least rub his bat against it.
Maybe we should tell him the Molina family wants to adopt him.
Maybe he needs a massage for his dead arms?
Maybe Maddon needs to stimulate his mind with one of his philosophical quotes, “You are everything you can imagine you’ll be”
Maybe the answer is to simply get him butt drunk. I mean to the point where he’s all like “I love you man, I love all you guys, I’m gonna help you guys score some runs”
Hopefully he can clear his mind and start jacking the ball soon. Go Rays!!
