HER RAYS!

(photo Espn.com)

Okay I don’t know if Spring is in the air or what but that was so hot.  Mister Garza was damn near perfect.  The team really needed a charge and boy did he deliver.  He even proved that Pedroia can’t hit the high inside fast ball.  If only Jacoby Ellsbury wasn’t so bloody fast…  Barty made a great play on that ball and a slower man would have been toast.  Oh well it was still fantastic to watch.  Way to rock and fire Matt.

Mr. Hernandez deserves some credit tonight too.  After watching Navi’s horrible performance last night, Michel really looked like a pro.  He helped make Garza perfect, and he hit too.  What a concept.  Hopefully that’s the little prod that Navi needs.

I don’t know what turned these guys around but I hope it’s here to stay.  Everybody was hitting, even Gabe Gross.  I hope they saved some runs for the rest of the series!

Did anyone else notice the music as Josh Beckett was leaving the field?  So ya had a bad day…That cracked me up.

A couple more observations:
The Red Sox catcher Kottaras is very cute.
It still hurts my heart to see Rocco in the wrong dugout with the wrong clothes on.
Every team needs a Van Everything.  Where can we get one?  Can Zobrist pitch?

Hey Rays, how about winning two in a row. 

At what point do we start to give the Rays some tough love?  It’s early, and we’ve been declaring our love daily hoping they will turn it around.  The talent is definitely there.  They can’t play like buttmunchs forever can they?  Can they?

I think we need Joe to practice his inner Piniella for a day or two until they turn it around.  Get a little angry and remind those boys who’s the boss.  Maybe it goes something like this…

So did you all enjoy October last year?  Do you remember how it felt to make the playoffs and keep going?  Well if you want to have any chance at getting back there you better pull your heads out of your asses and quick.  You all get paid to play a game for a living.  It’s time you started earning your keep.  
From this day forward starting pitchers better make sure they are freaking ready to pitch the first inning.  No more giving away the game before it even starts.
Base runners will start using their damn brains.  The next guy who gets thrown out for sheer stupidity will be getting his legs waxed.  Ask Golic, that hurts.
How hard is it to call a fly ball?  Oh and if you call it you better catch it.  This is not little league. 
Navi, you better be practicing being a wall back there.  Nothing should get by you.  Oh and you can start hitting anytime.
Bullpen what is your job?  Hold them.  Every single time.  No lame excuses about being old and fat.
Offense, a little run support could go a long way to actually winning games.  You all know how to hit, so do it already.  Don’t swing at pitches out of the zone and for the love of all that is holy please don’t watch a third strike.
It all comes down to this.  You all know how to play this game.  So how about making a conscious effort to stop sucking.  Enough of this shit, let’s start beating some ass. 
Oh and Barty, rub some dirt on it because you need to suck it up and be ready to go tomorrow.

Honestly the Rays can’t expect to win games the way they played tonight.  Too many negative factors. 

Shields pitched a pretty good game, but he made two costly mistakes.  First he walks the batter right before he gives up a home run.  Negative.  Then he hits a batter to give them another free run.  Negative.  So he gave up three runs.  Mistakes or not, his team should be able to give him some run support.  Negative.  Zobrist can’t do it all by himself.

I didn’t get home until later in the game, so I’d like to know why Aybar went home on a fielders choice?  Sounds like it was quite a bummer since Barty hit a base-hit right after that.  Negative?

Aybar struck out looking with runners on and two outs.  LOOKING.  Worst pet peeve ever.  Even worse than CC swinging at pitches way out of the zone.  Negative

Navi saved Percy’s butt.  Percy was looking like a big man about to give up some runs, when Navi threw out a runner at third to end the threat.  Not Negative.  I’m actually surprised the Twins sent that runner?  Isn’t there a rule about not making the first and third out at third base.

So it’s top of the ninth and in comes Joe Nathan.  I don’t think I’ve ever noticed before but he is quite attractive.  I’m checking him out when Zobrist jacks one to tie it up.    Definitely not negative.

Was there ever any thought as to bringing in another pitcher when Howell was letting everyone on base?  I usually don’t question Mr. Maddon, but…

Ok Rays, tomorrow is a perfect time to win another series.  We like the wins.  Go Rays.

Last night I finally got to sit down and enjoy my favorite show, the Tampa Bay Rays.  Now the show has gotten some pretty rough reviews lately, but I thought last night’s episode was excellent, a winner you might say.  It almost kept me entertained for the three hour duration, but alas I literally couldn’t keep my eyes open.  No worries, DVR to the rescue.  Rays win!

Niemann was good.  He seems to get all flustered when he has to go to the stretch, but it’s usually just for that first batter after he allows someone to reach base.  So after he gets two on, then has a visit from Hickey, he figures it out.  That’s not scary at all.  Pitching is always the source of drama on my favorite show.

BJ and Navi both had singles last night, let’s hope they can build on that tonight.  Comeback kids.

Justin Morneau is tough.  He could transition to hockey easily.  Did you see him take that ball off the shin without even flinching?  What a man.  He was the bad-ass on my show last night.

The best part was when the three hot guys brought it home.  Longo and Pena make quite an RBI team, and Barty wants to join the hot guys who drive in runs club too.  That my friends is must see TV!

Dear Rays,

I’m very sorry for my lack of focus these last couple of weeks.  I haven’t been a very good fan.  I always tend to check out during the west coast trips, and real life hasn’t made that any easier.

So tonight I will be renewing my commitment to the team.  I will be there through thick and thin.  It is a new series so let’s have a fresh start.  I will watch and support you and you try  to minimize the sucking.  Defending champions means you’re good, try not to forget that.

It’s time to climb out of last place and get back to .500.  From there you can work on catching the leaders.  It’s only April there is time, but no more slipping.  Hang on and climb!  Go Rays!!

Well this morning was pleasant after finding out the Rays finally won a game.  Then tonight’s game was a bummer, but not something to get upset about.  Two great pitchers did their thing.  Shields made one mistake early and that was all she wrote.  So all in all there’s not really much to get worked up about, but…

What’s wrong with our lil pudge?  Is that little bit of weight he lost throwing him off?  I miss the doubles machine from last year.  What can we do to help him?

Maybe Matt Garza needs to get in his face and give him a season defining moment.
Maybe we need to remind him that after every game they win he can get a free donut.
Maybe we should show him pictures of Doug Mirabelli the real estate agent.
Maybe he needs to try out Zobrist’s magic bat.  Or at least rub his bat against it.
Maybe we should tell him the Molina family wants to adopt him.
Maybe he needs a massage for his dead arms?
Maybe Maddon needs to stimulate his mind with one of his philosophical quotes, “You are everything you can imagine you’ll be”
Maybe the answer is to simply get him butt drunk.  I mean to the point where he’s all like “I love you man, I love all you guys, I’m gonna help you guys score some runs”

Hopefully he can clear his mind and start jacking the ball soon.  Go Rays!!

As most of you know I have the inability to stay awake for the west coast games.  I’m sorry but sleeping is something that I’m really good at, and I’m not so nice if I don’t get my fair share.

I did however watch the first part of the game.  There I saw some good pitching, defense and offense from the Rays.  The were in the lead and they looked good.   The only bummers were when Navi left two runners on, and when Sonny biffed the throw when Griffey Jr. bunted.  So what happened after that.  The Rays didn’t score anymore and the Mariners did.  Gabe Kapler you are no BJ Upton.  BJ might be able to get away with playing that shallow, but you sir are no BJ.  Stop it.

So here’s my theory.  First it involves getting all the starters on the field together.  Let’s hope BJ is back tonight.  Then it involves playing all facets of the game well at the same time.  It seems like one minute the Rays defense is awesome and then the next night there is some great pitching but no offense.  Then when the offense does score some runs the bullpen blows it.  They need to get in sync.  Not ‘N Sync the band that wouldn’t be good for anyone.  Unless some of the players wanted to make a video dancing to Bye Bye.  That would be good for everyone.

Anyway boys, it’s time to start playing all together again.  It’s time to start winning series again and that means tonight you need a W.  Plus let’s be honest I probably won’t find out the results until tomorrow morning and it would really help brighten my day.  Go Rays!

I was trying to get the Rays pitchers to support my walk for charity, but some of them must have gotten confused.  I guess when I said the more you walk to the more money the charity gets, they thought the more batters you walk…? Ugh, not even funny.

The Rays walked ten batters.  Ten.  Your not going to win many of those games, especially when six of those walks scored.  Six.  The White Sox only scored eight runs in total.  Eight.

Lillibridge, the second baseman who looks like a puppy, walked three times.  He scored twice.  Take a stab at his batting average?  .067!  This pains me.

Anderson walked twice and scored once.  He’s batting a whopping .176.  Not good.

Other thoughts from the game:
CC and Barty looked great.  They get ice cream.
Navi needs to find his groove.  They need him back to form.
Balfour needs to ditch the necklaces.  They are obviously bothering him.
When Pena was thrown out at third to completely kill the buzz, did he go on his own?
Pat threw his bat.  Drat.
Carlos Quentin is a beast.  No really I totally picture him in the roll of Jacob from Twilight.  He has werewolf like qualities.
Final conclusion – Needs more Zobrist!

C’mon Garza help them split the series.  Go Rays!

 
(photo ESPN.com)

and the winning is way more fun than the losing.

Someone needs to put it into writing.

The Tampa Bay Rays acknowledge that Benny Boo Boo Zobrist is the team’s official good luck charm.  With his new reddish beard, he even resembles an overgrown leprechaun.  He has a way of righting the ship.  Therefore as long as he doesn’t start sucking real bad he must remain with the team at all costs.  Management will review his good luck charm status on a regular basis.  Getting picked off of first is generally frowned upon, however due to the nature of the grand slam we will let him off with a warning this time.

Troy Percival and Dan Wheeler will be required to sit next to Ben in the dugout, listening to his wife’s music on their ipods, until they are needed in the bullpen.  The Gabe’s will be required to come up with a plethora of minor ailments so that Zobrist gets more starts.

Let’s ride this wave for all it’s worth.

Go Rays!!

It’s way too early in the season for me to be this negative.  I’m a positive person by nature, so even though the Rays have beaten themselves three times in a row now, I’m not going to fall into the negative abyss.  Although I admit it is harder this year since they have so much talent.

So I’ll tell you what I like.  Lance Cormier.  Which is surprising because I don’t think I’ve ever liked a Lance before.  I find Lance Bass and Lance Armstrong totally annoying.  Lance Cormier is not annoying at all.

To be honest I didn’t know too much about him, so I looked him up.  He’s from Louisana.  He went to Alabama and played four years for the Crimson Tide.

He was drafted twice while he was in college but chose to remain there.  Whether it was because he wanted to finish his education or because he was having too good of a time, we’ll never know.

After he got his degree in finance, so he would know how to invest his signing bonus, he was drafted by the Arizona Diamondbacks in the 4th round.

He played for the Yakima Bears.  Yakima.  That’s totally fun to say.

In 2005 he was traded to the Braves.  His two years there were somewhat disappointing and he was DFA’d when they need to make room for Tom Glavine in 2007.  He was later released.

In 2008 he signed a minor league contract with the Orioles with an invitation to spring training.  He was called up on May 2nd.

Now he’s with the Rays and he pitched really well last night.  He’s married and has a son LJ.  Lance Junior?  Lebron James?  Liam Joakin?

Anyway I like him.  I don’t have quantitative reasons why right now, I just do.  Sue me.

I hope he sticks around.  Even if he does look like the 40yr old virgin in this pic…