Hey, Matt Garza here.  I know I look half-baked in that picture there, and my hat is crooked, and it looks like I dipped my chin in chocolate but…I totally just out dueled Roy Halladay.  Why?  Because I can.  My spit don’t stink.  I pitched seven plus innings and they only got two hits. 

Then my boys went to work with all kinds of bunts.  Because turns out it’s really hard to hit Roy’s pitches too.  Carlos finally drove one in thankfully.  Then the kid, E-Lo, who’s like two whole years younger than me, hit his first grand salami!  I bet that chick at Her Rays wishes she could have seen that.  She loves him.  Clifford hit one out later too.  6-0 Rays.  Quite a cushion for the bullpen.  Right?

No.  They damn near imploded.  They needed three outs.  They gave up four runs!  Can I just tell you I would have went bat shit crazy if they would have blown that.  From what I hear they did that a lot last season.  We can’t be having that. 

Anyway let’s get back to talking about me.  I’m really starting to get the hang of this.  I ruled out there tonight.  Someday Minnesota’s going to be talking about how they shouldn’t have let me go, forget that Santana guy.  Don’t worry it’s not cocky it’s confidence.  Anybody would want to pitch better following Shields and Kazmir.  Let’s hope Edwin can keep it going tomorrow.  Go Rays!!