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Game 81 - Rays vs. Pirates
By Jessica | June 29, 2008
Time to stop the madness!
The Rays won again today. They won another series. They are back in first place in the AL East. If the White Sox can beat the Cubs tonight, the Rays will have the best record in baseball again. That’s all fine and dandy but they’ve got bigger fish to fry, and no I’m not talking about the Red Sox.
The beards have got to go! It will not jinx them. They were winning without them. They are playing so great that the fans will come but if they want to expand their female fanbase they need to get back to their fine selves!
Thankfully some of the prettier Rays have decided to boycott. Yes I’m looking at you BJ.
I bet Riggy would grow one if he could, but he’ll always have that Kirk Cameron face. That makes him a great back-up catcher. He’s quick on defense, he has had 5 RBI’s in his last two games, and he’s really cute. Do any other teams have a back-up catcher that can hold a candle to him?
Sonny did a great job today, but I hardly noticed because I was so distracted by his beard. It’s getting really thick, and sucking all of his hotness away.
Longo has been on fire, and I love him but there is no way his girlfriend likes that scraggly, patchy stuff growing on his face.
Navi’s is just humorous. I want to take him with me to the Amish restaurant in Sarasota.
Barty doesn’t have a beard, but it looks like he grew his sideburns a little longer so that he didn’t feel left out. Oh by the way, I’m calling it right now, Bartlett will hit one out against the Red Sox. (I know, really going out on a limb)
So how do we stop this madness? We go to the source. Rocco Baldelli. These guys are growing beards to show Rocco support on his comeback. Rocco used to look like this.
Now he looks like this. Alright, that’s not Rocco, but it proves my point. Even Brad Pitt can’t pull of this kind of beard!
So Rocco I’m begging you, please shave. You are a great looking guy. Don’t hide it. We will support you no matter what, but it sure would be nice to have the Rays winning AND looking good! Go Rays!!
Topics: Game Diaries |
June 30th, 2008 at 11:10 pm
It looked like Bartlett shaved it all off tonight — think that means he takes constructive criticism well?
July 1st, 2008 at 9:53 am
More likely his wife said “If you’re going to leave me with a newborn baby, the least you could do is shave, so when I see you on TV you still look like my hot baby daddy”
At least that’s what I would say.