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Comparison Shopping
By Jessica | April 25, 2008
The Red Sox are in town. Which means the Red Sox fans are going to start coming out of the woodwork. Ugh. They have become worse than the Yankees fans they always hated. I would love to see the Rays get a couple of wins. Just for sh*ts and giggles let’s compare the line-ups.
Catcher - Navi vs. Varitek
I’m loyal but c’mon this is a no brainer. Navi is swinging the bat pretty well right now, but Tek is way more consistent all around.
Hotness factor(not related to baseball ability) - Not really my cup of tea, but I know many chicks dig the lumber jack look of Varitek.
Advantage - Red Sox
1st Base - Pena vs. Casey
While both are excellent fielders I would give the edge to Pena because he moves a little better. Normally Pena would be a better choice at the plate too, but he looks a little lost lately. While Casey is batting .346.
Hotness factor - Casey is cute and always entertaining, but Pena is tall, dark and handsome.
Advantage - Even
2nd Base - Aki vs. Pedroia
Two excellent second basemen in the field. Pedroia is light years ahead at the plate though.
Hotness factor - Neither one of these guys does it for me.
Advantage - Red Sox
3rd Base - Longo vs Youkilis
This is just a comparison of age and experience. Both are great players but I think you have to give the edge to Youkilis right now.
Hotness factor - Duh, Longo is way cuter, but most people are way cuter than Youk.
Advantage - Even
SS - Bartlett vs. Lugo
I can’t stand Lugo. If I had to be honest they are probably about even both in the field and with the bat right now. I just had a pain in my chest typing that.
Hotness factor - Lugo has a negative hotness factor. I like to call him Fabio Lugo since seeing him in his designer sunglasses constantly rearranging his junk. Ick. Bartlett on the other hand is very easy on the eyes. He always has a nice clean haircut on the back of his neck. This is a major turn on…wow sharing too much.
Advantage - Rays
Left Field - Crawford vs. Ramirez
How do you choose between two all stars, especially two that are so different. One is built for speed while the other is built for dependability. What is this a car commercial? Anyhoo, Carl is the man, but Manny is Manny.
Hotness factor - Crawford dreads down.
Advantage - Even
Centerfield - BJ Upton vs. Ellsbury
Wow tough call. BJ is fast but Ellsbury is Dash from the Incredibles fast. BJ is better with the bat.
Hotness factor - Ellsbury is a big hit with the ladies of Boston, but he is no Bossman Junior.
Advantage - Rays
Right Field - ??Gross vs Drew
This really depends on which JD Drew comes to play that day. He is immensely talented, and I hardly know Gross.
Hotness factor - Gross is not gross at all and could easily compete with Drew for the ladies.
Advantage - Red Sox
DH - Gomes/Hinske vs Ortiz
Big Papi was cursed but they dug up that jersey and now he’s free to blast. Gomes and Hinske are both hitting well too.
Hotness factor - Gomes has that whole K-Fed thing going for him. I don’t like the Red Sox, but you have to love Big Papi. His smile is contagious.
Advantage - Even
Pitchers - Garza, Jackson, Shields vs. Wakefield, Bucholz, Beckett
Garza and Jackson are two unknowns. They could be great or they could blow. Shields has also struggled a bit. Wakefield owns the Rays. Bucholz has been shakable, and who knows if Beckett will be healthy.
Hotness factor - Garza trumps them all.
Advantage - Red Sox
Bullpen - Rays vs. Red Sox
The Rays bullpen has been excellent, but this is going to be quite a test for them. No lead is too big against Boston. Boston’s middle relief is a little shaky.
Hotness factor - negative points to Boston for this.
Advantage - Even
End result - The Rays will have to be at their best to beat the world champions, but it could totally happen! Go Rays!!
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